Gene's Return
by kitty2292
Summary: I always wondered about Gene and whether he might come home someday. So, the title says all; I am bringing him back after explaining his absence during the majority of the series. Obviously his exit happens sometime between S1 and S2. I begin with flashback and work my way forward to his return. This is a new style for me, an experiment. I hope you enjoy - all comments appreciated
1. Chapter 1

**_Two Years Ago:_**

"Kaitlin, what's wrong," Gene asked. "You have been upset ever since I got here."

"And why shouldn't I be," by her tone Gene could tell that she was on the verge of crying. "I don't even know why you're here?"

"What are you talking about," Gene was perplexed. "Kaitlin, I love you. What is it?"

"You love me," she scoffed as her voice grew louder. "You love me, but you are letting your family destroy mine. You love me," she scoffed again. "Your mother and your brother are taking advantage of my father's bad luck and you have the nerve to say you love me. I was all just part of the grand Barkly plan wasn't I, just in case my father might get ahead for once in his life."

Gene looked around to see if Kaitlin's yelling had drawn anyone's attention. They had been dating for months. Gene had brought her on this picnic to propose to her. He was more confused than he had ever been. He had originally thought that her demeanor was because she suspected the proposal and was nervous or that maybe she didn't feel the same way about him that he did about her. He had no idea what she was talking about now. He knew that his family did business with hers, they were neighbors and their land bordered each other in the east section of the Barkley ranch, he had never considered it unusual or that it could become a wedge between them.

"Kaitlin, I have no idea what you are talking about," Gene's voice was low and sincere. "What happened? Maybe I can fix it."

"You really don't know," Kaitlin still seemed unsure. "Why did you bring me out here today?"

Gene tilted his head to one side. It killed him to see her upset; this isn't the way he wanted to do this, but he knew that he needed to tell her the truth so that she would believe him when he said he didn't know what she was talking about. He sighed heavily and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the small band he bought before he had moved home from San Francisco permanently after graduation. "I wanted to ask you to marry me," he twisted his face into a smile and offered her the ring.

"What," Kaitlin's eyes filled with tears and Gene could see that she had genuinely not suspected this. "You still want to marry me?"

"Of course I do," Gene nodded. "Kaitlin, I love you, you mean the world to me. How could you doubt that?"

Kaitlin took the ring and admired it as the tears streamed down her face. "Gene," she looked up at him. "Your mother and your brothers loaned my father some money."

"So," Gene shrugged. "What about it?"

"You know that my father had a terrible year. He lost over half his herd and most of his crop this season."

Gene nodded. "I know he has been having a rough time of it lately. But Kaitlin, I still don't understand what it going on."

"Well," she huffed. "That is what I am trying to tell you. Your family lent my father money. He put the ranch up as collateral and now he can't pay what he owes. Jarrod brought papers last night and told my father that they are taking the ranch to settle his debt. Don't you see Gene," she began to cry hard. "They are taking my father's ranch, they are taking my home."

"What," Gene was appalled. "Kaitlin, I swear to you, I didn't know anything about this."

"My father said that he figured you were only going with me in case he made good on the money. He said your family figured you could marry me and they would get a big chunk of the land anyway."

"That's not true," Gene pulled her close. "I swear that's not true sweetheart. I want to marry you because I love you. I didn't know anything about this."

"Oh Gene," she sobbed into his chest. "Please don't let your family go through with this. It will destroy my father. Please Gene."


	2. Chapter 2

"Jarrod," Gene flew through the front door with a yell that rivaled the ones Nick was so famous for.

"Gene," Jarrod emerged from the library. "Where's the fire?"

"We need to talk,' Gene could feel his cheeks flush with rage as he pushed past Jarrod into the library. "Did you really think that I wouldn't hear about this, you should have told me Jarrod."

"Told you what," Jarrod was obviously puzzled.

"You are grabbing up Jeb Potter's ranch," Gene scowled at his oldest brother. "He couldn't afford a payment on the loan you gave him so you are taking his ranch."

"Ah," Jarrod had a clear picture now of what had happened. "I suppose you have been talking to Kaitlin then."

"She is furious and thought the only reason I was seeing her was to make sure that the Barkleys got as much of that land as they could if Jeb did pay up. That is not what I had in mind when I took her out there to propose to her Jarrod," Gene's voice was rising involuntarily.

"I had no idea that you two were that serious," Jarrod shook his head and remained calm. "But, you need to understand what happened Gene. Jeb didn't miss one payment or even two or three. Gene, he hasn't paid anything in six months. He never did make a full payment and besides that, it is obvious that he doesn't have the money to make any kind of payment now. You know that we try to help our neighbors as best as we can and as much as we can."

"But this is the time that you are going to take the ranch from one of our neighbors." Gene scoffed. "This time, when you can make a sizeable increase to the Barkley land without batting an eye, and prime land too."

"It is not like that Gene and you know it," Jarrod was becoming upset at his youngest brother's accusatory tone. "We have given Jeb more time on this mortgage than any bank would have. We even sent over a few hands to help at harvest time so that he could get enough together to pay something on it, anything. I feel for him, Gene, I really do, but we have to protect our interests too."

"Jarrod, Gene," Victoria appeared in the doorway. "What is going on in here? Why are the two of you shouting?"

"Does Mother know about this," Gene kept his eyes on Jarrod.

"Gene found out that we are foreclosing on Jeb Potter's farm," Jarrod looked at Victoria. "He is upset."

"Gene," Victoria took a couple steps closer but stopped when Gene turned his rage-filled eyes to her. "I know that you and Kaitlin are close and that this is disappointing. But you know how this works," she shook her head sympathetically. "No matter how much we like someone, we have to protect our business interests at a certain point."

"So you did know," Gene felt as though he were hollow, a shell of who he had been before he left this house this morning. "You knew all about this and you never saw fit to tell me? How dare you," he glared at his mother. "How dare any of you," he ran from the library and out the front door. He mounted his horse and took off at a full gallop toward the Potter ranch.

"I don't understand," Victoria looked at Jarrod in sheer confusion. "What is going on with him?'

"Mother," Jarrod started slowly, hardly able to believe that Gene had lashed out at their mother that way. "Did you know that Gene was going to propose to Kaitlin?"

"What," Victoria's eyes widened. "They've only been dating for," she thought for a moment and her voice fell slightly when she finished. "five or six months."

"Really," Jarrod seemed surprised. "I didn't realize it had been that long."

"I suppose I hadn't either," Victoria confessed. "I suppose I should have seen it coming, he has been spending a lot of time with her and her family. But he has only been home full time for three months now."

"I'm sorry I didn't realize," he closed the gap between them and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I am not used to consulting Gene about that part of the family business, but I should have warned him."

"We both should have," Victoria wrapped her arms around Jarrod. "I don't know where Jeb Potter plans to go," she sighed.

"He said last night that he wouldn't think of staying on and working for us now," Jarrod informed her. "I tried to do right by him and offer him a job. He said he wouldn't have any more to do with us. I imagine he will leave the valley Mother."

"Oh Jarrod," she rested her head against his chest and never looked up at him. "If he leaves, he will take Kaitlin with him. That will destroy Gene, especially if he is that much in love with her."

"He is a grown man," Jarrod advised. "And she isn't a little girl. They have to make their own decisions now."


	3. Chapter 3

Kaitlin was sitting on the front porch step of the ranch house she had been born and raised in. Off in the distance she saw Gene riding toward her. She prayed that he had some good news, but as he drew closer, she could see that he hadn't come with the news she wanted to hear.

"Kaitlin," he dismounted and walked toward her slowly.

"They aren't going to let him have another chance, are they?" She could feel tears threatening to spill but she blinked hard to keep them away.

"Kaitlin, I am sorry." Gene shook his head. He suddenly felt like he was a stranger to this woman, like he needed permission to even speak. "Jarrod and Mother won't hear of it now; they say that they've done all they could."

"Gene," Kaitlin lowered her eyes and looked at her shoes. "My father says that we are going to go to San Francisco and he is going to try to find work there."

"Kaitlin, I wish I could make this better; I really do. Please, marry me; stay here. We will figure out some way to make things better for your father."

"I want to marry you Gene," she looked up and put out her hand to show that she was wearing the ring he had offered her an hour before. "But Gene, I cannot abandon my family, especially not to live with the Barkleys. Do you know that Jarrod told my father that he would get Nick to sign him on as a ranch hand? Your family was going to let my father be disgraced and humiliated by letting him work the land he is losing to them. He couldn't bear that Gene, and I couldn't watch him do that."

"Kaitlin, what are you saying," Gene felt a sense of panic growing in his stomach and spreading through his whole body.

"Gene," she slid the ring off her finger and held it out to him. "I love you, but I can't marry you. I'm going to leave with my parents in the morning." When Gene didn't move, she stood up and walked the few paces that separated them. She pressed the ring into his hand and kissed his cheek as her tears started to fall.

"Please Kaitlin," his voice was barely a whisper. "I will find some way to fix this. I can't lose you Kaitlin, I just can't."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I wish it hadn't been this way. I…'' she couldn't finish her thought. She turned her head and ran into the house, leaving Gene alone in the front yard.

Gene stood there a long time looking at the ring he had bought her. This couldn't happen. Kaitlin was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he couldn't let her slip through his fingers over some business between her family and his. He pushed the ring down into his shirt pocket, mounted his horse, and rode home. When he made it to the hill above the big white house, he stopped. He was born here, he was raised here, his whole family lived on this ranch. He loved his home, leaving it had been the hardest part of going to school in Berkley. He had gone to school for veterinary medicine, specifically so that he could be more useful here, to his family and his neighbors. But now, he only wanted Kaitlin. He knew that he had to decide if he was willing to leave this place and follow her to San Francisco if he couldn't fix this mess with his family. He pondered it less than a minute; Kaitlin was the love of his life. She was more important than this ranch, this valley, the plans he had made for himself, even his family; she was more important than anything else in the world to him.

"Jarrod," he called more calmly as he opened the door to the house. He was less than surprised to find Jarrod and his mother both waiting for him.

"We saw you ride up," Jarrod said by way of explanation. "Gene, I think that we should talk."

"I think so too Jarrod," Gene nodded. "I think that we should ALL talk."

"Heath, Nick, and Audra are waiting in the library," Victoria nodded. "I think that you are right, we all need to clear the air about things."

"Come on Gene," Jarrod smiled jovially and nodded toward the library. "Let's talk this all out and then we will sit down to that supper that Silas has been smelling up the house with for the past hour or so."

Gene walked into the library silently. He found his siblings there just as his mother had said. He hoped that he could convince them that there was a solution that would keep Kaitlin and her parents here in the valley. He hoped that they would come around to his way of thinking.

"I just want to start by saying that Gene made a very good point earlier," Jarrod started the informal meeting. "Mother and I do not always include you all in the financial matters of the ranch and that is not really fair. We all own a stake in this ranch and so we should all be aware of the decisions that are being made."

"What's going on anyway," Nick was impatient with being kept in the dark while the family waited on Gene.

"After last harvest season," Jarrod explained. "Jeb Potter came to me looking for a loan to help him through the year. He had a rough year last year and he wasn't going to be able to stay afloat without help. The bank had turned him away so he came to us."

"Jarrod and I talked it over one evening," Victoria continued. "I told him that Jeb Potter was an honest man and that I was comfortable with making a loan to him if Jarrod agreed."

"I have known Jeb just as long and I saw no problem in making him a loan. Well, the only thing he had of any value to put up as collateral was his ranch."

"That's not an unusual deal to make is it." Audra asked feeling as though they were being told something that Jarrod and her mother did regularly without consulting the rest of them.

"No," Jarrod shook his head. "It's not unusual and, in fact," he eyed Gene carefully. "I have made the same deal with a dozen ranchers all over the valley over the years. I even made a similar deal with Jeb several years ago for a much smaller amount, so it was only a piece of his property rather than the whole thing, a percentage."

"So what's the problem," Nick asked. "We sent hands over there at harvest because he was short on workers, I never heard anything unusual from the men when they came back."

"Jeb Potter lost most of his crop," Gene spoke up. "He had a bad season plus he lost a big part of the herd that he bought last winter. It's been due to bad luck more than anything else, he's been working himself into the ground trying to get things going right."

"That's true," Jarrod nodded. "The problem is that Jeb never made a full payment on this loan. He made a few partial payments at the beginning and he has not been able to pay anything for six months. So, mother and I decided that we had to foreclose on the mortgage."

"We both felt that between the terms we had given, the time, and the help we gave him by sending in our own hands on our own time, it was no longer acceptable to let this linger. We felt that, for the good of our own business, we had to make this decision."

"I am still not hearing a reason for this meeting," Nick growled. "As far as I am concerned, these deals are left to Jarrod and Mother because I work the ranch. That's my part and this is theirs."

"Right," Heath nodded once calmly. "I've never felt like I wasn't included in this business and nothing has ever made me think that I was entitled to know any more about this side of it than I needed to when I needed to."

"But this time," Gene was barely keeping his anger at the situation in check. "This time, there is something more that I am losing on the deal."

"And what is it you think you're losing," Nick scoffed at the idea that his younger brother was the whole reason for this waste of time. What could he possibly be losing on a deal that was made while he was off at school?

"I have been seeing Kaitlin Potter for seven months Nick," Gene growled back at him. "I took her on a picnic today with the intention of proposing to her. Before I had the opportunity, she tells me that my family is foreclosing on her property. What's worse is that she thinks that, since we started courting just after the loan deal was made, I was only seeing her so that IF her father was able to pay I would be able to propose and the Barkleys would still get a piece of his more than prime ranch land. Imagine having to explain that I knew nothing about it, but that I had brought her there to propose marriage because I really loved her."

"Oh Gene," Audra was very sympathetic to her younger brother. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Gene," Heath waded in carefully. "If you were able to explain that to her, then what are you losing. You can still marry her."

"She will not stay here with me," Gene shook his head. "Jeb is planning to move his family to San Francisco and they are leaving in the morning. Kaitlin said that she will go with her parents."

"Maybe she just needs a little time Gene," Nick tried to be compassionate, he hated that his little brother was hurting. "There is no reason that you can't keep seeing her, keep talking. I mean, if you were seeing her part of the time you were over at school then you can do it again while she is in San Francisco."

"Nick is right," Jarrod affirmed. "Of course, you always have the choice to marry her and move there too, even though it might not be what you had intended to do."

"That might be true," Gene nodded and felt his rage boiling again. "That might have been true, that is. Now, Jeb hates us. He feels like we have betrayed him and worse that you tried to humiliate him by offering to sign him on working for us. I can't imagine that he wants his daughter marrying a Barkley and if Kaitlin would marry me she would be betraying him just like we did. She won't do that to her family Jarrod."

"How in the world were we trying to humiliate him by offering him work," Victoria frowned. "We were trying to make the situation better."

"You were going to let him work as a hand right," Gene asked indignantly.

"Yes," Victoria nodded. "It was a chance for him to stay in the valley, to start again."

"It was a chance for him to work the land that he lost to us," Gene shouted and jumped to his feet, unable to contain his anger anymore. "And it's not like no one else would know that," he railed. "Everyone would know that it used to be his land but he just couldn't keep it for himself, he couldn't manage on his own. How would he not be humiliated by that?"

"Gene, you simmer down," Nick stood up and stepped toward him.

"I know you're upset," Audra stayed calmly in her chair next to where Gene had been. "But don't take it out on Mother just because Jeb had a run of bad luck.

"You don't understand," Gene seethed. "None of you understand, do you?" He took a moment and looked at all of them. "I love Kaitlin, I want to marry her. Now she won't stay, she won't marry me unless I can fix this. And from what I've heard, none of you think that this needs further consideration. None of you think that my loving her changes anything."

"Do you see any way for us to change things," Jarrod asked calmly. "If you have an idea, I'm happy to listen."

"Give him more time," Gene turned to him. "Give him another season. Don't take the whole place, just take part of it now. Hell, take part of it and tell him that he has more time on the loan before you take the rest of it. I don't care how you fix it Jarrod, just fix it."

"Jeb brought all those things up last night," Jarrod shook his head. "I turned him down then. Would you have me go back and say I've changed my mind today?"

"Does my loving Kaitlin not change things for you," Gene growled and his eyes were wild with fury.

"Why did you turn him down Jarrod," Heath asked.

"It doesn't matter why he did," Gene shouted. "It matters if he still would today."

"I don't know that that's true," Heath calmly held his stance and looked at Gene and then back to Jarrod. "Why did you turn him down."

"I turned down his asking for more time because we have given him all that we felt was fair. As for turning down taking a piece now and waiting for the rest; I thought that it was cruel to give him that sort of hope. He's had nothing but bad luck for a long time Heath, I just don't see how he would be able to pay what he owes. He needed a good season now, and he didn't get it."

"And you still can't see how he might be able to turn things around next season," Audra asked, following Heath's plan.

"If he had a bumper crop on the entire ranch, maybe," Jarrod shook his head. "But the percentage of his land that we would have to take to make extending the loan for another season possible, even to our detriment, wouldn't leave him the possibility."

"Good grief, how much did you loan the man," Nick threw up his hands. "How much would you really need to take to satisfy what he owes now plus another few months?"

"We would have to take at least half Nick," Jarrod answered. "Even then, we would still lose money in the long run. And I could live with that, really I could."

"Then, what's the problem," Gene could hardly stand this dance.

"The problem is that we loaned him ten thousand dollars Gene," Jarrod raised his voice slightly, agitated with his little brother's attitude. "The problem is that there is no way that he can pay that off working half the ranch that he has. Even if we take half and he only would owe us five thousand; he couldn't make it up on half the ranch."

"So he owes five thousand," Gene asked. "Take it out of my share of the profit from last year then. Surely there is enough to do that."

"No," Victoria finally spoke again in a sad but firm tone. "Gene, you will not bail out Jeb Potter to your own detriment. Jeb will only resent you for that and you know it."

"I don't care if he resents me mother," Gene shook his head. "I only care that I find a way to fix this so that he stays there, so that Kaitlin stays."

"If you convince Jeb and his family to let you," Jarrod put a heavy hand on his mother's shoulder then I will accept that," Jarrod said. "If you convince them to let you pay the five thousand that he owes on it, I will give three months before another payment is due."

"Jarrod," Victoria protested.

"Mother," Jarrod stopped her. "Gene is a grown man and he is the one who thinks that he is losing something. He has to make his own decisions about what to do with his money."

"I agree with Jarrod Mother," Nick turned and looked at her. "What about you two," he turned to Heath and Audra.

Heath nodded in agreement. "I hope that you can make it work for you Gene, I really do."

"That seems fair enough to me," Audra shrugged and looked up at her younger brother.

"Thank you," Gene felt his anger dissipate.

"Come on," Nick smiled. "I am famished and I don't intend to stand here smelling that dinner any longer." He strolled out followed by Heath and Audra.

"I have to go talk to Jeb," Gene shook his head. "He plans to leave in the morning. It can't wait."

"I understand," Jarrod nodded and watched him go.

"Jarrod," Victoria stood up and looked at her oldest when Gene was gone. "You know that he owes more than five thousand with the interest he owes."

"I will forgive the interest and you would too," Jarrod nodded. "We would do that for anyone, not just Gene. He knows that too."

"You know that Jeb won't let him. He won't let a Barkley pay his debt to the rest of us."

"Probably not," his tone was low and sad. "But, Gene has to find that out his own way Mother. We cannot solve all his problems."

"We could foreclose on the property and lease it back to Jeb," she suggested.

"I offered that," Jarrod shook his head. "Gene is right. He is angry and he feels betrayed. There is nothing more we can do Mother. It is up to Gene and Kaitlin now. We have to respect the decisions that they make. Maybe when Jeb sees how much Kaitlin means to him, he will reconsider."

"I hope you're right," Victoria frowned. "I really do."

"Come on," Jarrod offered his arm. "Nick will have it in for both of us if we keep them waiting any longer."


	4. Chapter 4

It was Kaitlin's mother, Mildred, who answered the door when Gene knocked. "Gene," she smiled sadly. "Come on in. I will go get Kaitlin."

"Actually Mrs. Potter," Gene pulled off his hat and stepped inside. "I've come to speak with your husband a moment if that's alright."

"What are you doing here," Jeb appeared from around the corner of his office. "I told your brother all I had to say last night."

"I am sure you did sir," Gene nodded. "But, I have something to say and I hope a way to help you."

"I don't want no help from you Barkleys," he growled.

"That may be," Gene held his ground. "But, I still have something to say," Gene was firm.

"Well then say it," he barked bringing Kaitlin to the top of the stairs.

"Gene," she seemed surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"I have come to offer some help," Gene nodded to her politely, but I think your parents need to know why first."

"What is he talking about," Jeb looked from Mildred to Kaitlin, expecting one of them to answer.

"Mr. Potter," Gene drew the older man's attention once again. "I am very much in love with your daughter."

"What," the old man seemed surprised. "You Barkleys are gettin' my ranch. There ain't no call for you to act foolish no more with this courtin' business."

"That's the problem sir," Gene continued with a firm tone. "I had no idea about this loan with my family until Kaitlin told me about it this morning. I never knew that the loan was made or that you had fallen behind on the payments. I have been courting Kaitlin because I liked her, and I have grown to LOVE her. As a matter of fact, I want to marry your daughter."

"I told you," he shouted at Kaitlin. "I told you this would happen."

"But Daddy," she made her way down the stairs. "He did not ask me to marry him until today. I believe that he loves me. I love him."

"What is it that you think marrying her will do to solve my problems with your family boy," Jeb sneered at Gene.

"I have made a deal with my brother Jarrod," Gene explained. "If you will allow me, I will pay what you owe right now and Jarrod will give you three months before another payment is due."

"I ain't takin' charity from no man, least of all a Barkley," Jeb fumed. "Sure ain't gonna let one Barkley pay my debt to another Barkley. Hell, that's like lettin' the man I owe pay himself."

"Daddy, please," Kaitlin spoke up again. It's a chance. We can stay here. I know you don't want to leave here. You don't want to give this up."

"No," he yelled. "It ain't fittin'."

"Sir," Gene protested. "I want to marry Kaitlin. That makes us family. Will you not accept my help as that?"

"I wouldn't take charity from no man and I won't sell my daughter off to pay my debts."

"Jeb, that is not what the boy said and you know it," Mildred finally spoke up. "Don't you dare imply a thing like that about him or Kaitlin."

"You two do what you like," Jeb looked from Kaitlin to Gene. "Maybe you can stay Kaitlin. Maybe you and Gene can get married and stay on here. Maybe the Barkleys will even let you have this house. But I will not take this kind of charity." He stormed past Gene out the door slamming it behind him.

"I'm sorry Gene," Mildred shook her head. "My husband is a proud man. I'm afraid that he has made up his mind about this."

"Mrs. Potter," Gene pleaded. "I can give my family the money whether he wants me to or not. Would he still leave if I did that?"

"Yes," she nodded. "It would still be charity and he would still refuse."

"Kaitlin," Gene turned to her. "Please, tell me what to do. I don't know what else to do."

"Your brother said he wouldn't take half our land because there was no way my father could pay the rest off later without that land."

"He told me," Gene nodded.

"What if you got him to take half the land, paid him the money and then any money my father paid later, your brother gave back to you. He would never need to know anything other than that Jarrod changed his mind."

"Kaitlin," Mildred scolded. "You cannot hide something like that from your father. It is unfair and unkind."

"Mother, you know he doesn't want to leave," Kaitlin insisted. "Why can't we hide this from him to protect him from his own pride?"

"I think she's right," Gene shook his head. "It is bound to come out eventually anyway. He would be more upset then."

"Kaitlin," Mildred's tone softened. "Just because your father has his stubborn pride does not mean that you cannot stay and get married if that is what you want."

"I can't do that to him," the tears started to roll down her cheeks. "I cannot hurt him that way," she shook her head and ran toward the steps.

"Kaitlin," Gene called, stopping her in her tracks. "Please, please don't do this."

"Don't Gene," she never turned to look at him. "Please don't make this harder for me than it already is." She bounded up the stairs and they heard the slamming of her bedroom door.

"I will talk to her," Mildred offered. "She certainly is his daughter."

"Thank you Mrs. Potter," Gene shook his head no. "But she is right. I don't want her to feel like she is hurting her father by staying here with me."

"I will talk to him too," she said. "I will try to get him to reconsider."

"I would appreciate that," Gene nodded. "I would happily do this for you all. But, I understand his position. Sometimes, a man only has his pride."

"Will you come to say goodbye," she asked sadly. "Jeb wants to leave by seven."

"I will be here," Gene nodded. "Goodnight ma'am," he bowed before pushing his hat back on his head and walking out of the house. He had failed. As he rode back to the ranch, he resolved that there was only one thing to do. He would pack his bags. If Jeb refused to let him pay, he would go to San Francisco too. He hated his family for this. He felt like they were dismissing his happiness for the sake of profit. It made him feel cheap; it made him feel slimier than Jeb had by insinuating that he was trying to buy Kaitlin from him by paying the five thousand dollars.


	5. Chapter 5

Victoria and Jarrod were waiting in the parlor when Gene made it back to the house. He wished desperately that he had gone through the kitchen up the back stairs. But now he was face to face with the people he blamed for the position he was in. He felt his blood boiling under his skin and he knew that he wouldn't be able to control it.

"I have nothing to say," he nodded and headed for the stairs.

"Now wait a minute," Jarrod scolded. "It's not that simple and you know it Gene."

"Jarrod," Victoria eyed her oldest warily. "If he's not ready, then he's not ready."

"Mother, that is not the way life works. It comes at you and you have to face it whether you are ready to or not."

"Fine," Gene yelled. "Kaitlin is leaving for San Francisco in the morning with her parents. Her mother is going to try to talk to Jeb and to her, but I think we all know that will not go my way."

"And you are going to blame us for their pride," Jarrod accused him the same way he would any witness in court. "Knowing the entire story, you are still going to blame us."

"You know what Jarrod," Gene yelled louder now. "Maybe I wouldn't have, if you wouldn't all make me feel so cheap, feel like my feelings don't matter to any of you in this. You won't give him more time because it's bad for business, my feelings don't change that. You won't take part of the land now and worry about whether or not he can pay later because it's cruel to him, it doesn't matter that it's ruining my chance for happiness. Now, I go over there and Jeb is going to accuse me of trying to buy his daughter by paying off what he owes. You people don't give a damn how I feel about any of this. And now, you expect me not to blame you. You expect me to just sit back and watch my future ride off to San Francisco."

"What's going on out here," Nick emerged from the library with Heath coming out behind him.

"Gene, we don't expect you not to be angry," Victoria's voice was its usual calm and measured motherly tone. "We don't expect you not to fight for Kaitlin if you love her. We only expect that you be fair in how you do it."

"Jeb turned him down rather harshly," Jarrod looked across the foyer at Nick and Heath.

"You had to know that was a long shot Gene," Heath shook his head.

"You know what, it doesn't matter." Gene growled low in his throat. "If the Potters leave tomorrow then I am leaving too."

"Gene," there was an alarm in Victoria's voice now. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean that if you all go through with this; if Jeb Potter pulls that wagon out of the barn tomorrow, I am leaving here and going after them to San Francisco."

Jarrod looked at his brother guardedly. "Gene, that's a big decision to make."

"Don't you lecture me Pappy," he scoffed. "I am not giving Kaitlin up. Not for the sake of business and profits, not for Jeb Potter's pride, and certainly not for a bunch of people who could care less how I feel about her."

"You know that isn't true," Victoria stood from the sofa and walked toward him. "You know that we love you and that we want you to be happy. If that means that you have to move away then we will come to terms with it Gene. But, it's not something you decide in a moment of anger."

"Really," he glared at his mother. "Like moving across the country with some man you barely know the minute you find out that he might actually be able to make something of himself. Would you actually have taken that leap with Father if you didn't think that you'd get rich someday."

"You are over the line Gene," Jarrod grabbed his shoulder.

Gene shook it off and got right in Victoria's face. "If you thought that he was going to stay a nobody, you would have stayed right where you were. Maybe you would have found something respectable to do or maybe you would have danced in some saloon until you conned some rich drunk into falling for you. It's just plain greed, right? Or maybe you're just jealous because you know that Jeb has never been gone long enough to step out on Mildred. Are you jealous that they actually have a happy and loving family?"

"That's enough Gene," Nick barked from right behind him. "That's a load of hogwash and you know it."

"Do I," he turned around and shoved Nick in the chest. "Do I know anything for certain? I mean beside the fact that you were all on board with ruining my life less than an hour ago. My own mother is going to be content to watch the love of my life ride away. Why is it Nick? It's either jealousy or a guilty conscience."

Nick stalked back up to Gene and wrapped his fists in his younger brother's shirt. "Don't you dare disrespect your mother that way boy."

"And you," Gene smacked both Nick's arms away and pulled back. "You let your chance slip through your fingers. You wouldn't fight for Hester, so you just sat back and let her go."

"Gene," Heath finally spoke up. "You are crossing lines all over the place right now. Being upset is no reason to flap off at the mouth."

"Really, what about when you walked out of this house over anger? You were mad when we wouldn't support you hating that guy who came looking to apologize to you."

"So I ought to know what a fool I made of myself," Heath countered. "I'm tellin' you not to make that mistake."

"Look who I'm talking to anyway," he threw up his hands in disgust. "Living proof that my own father had no respect for the woman."

"That's enough," Nick growled as he wrapped Gene up again and lifted his feet off the floor. "You need to cool down." Nick started for the door. He had every intention of throwing Gene into a water trough in the corral.

"Let go of me Nick," Gene delivered a hard right-hook to the side of Nick's face. It took Nick by surprise and sent him stumbling back, forcing him to let go of Gene at the same time.

"Gene, stop this," Victoria jumped between him and a fuming Nick as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "Both of you stop it. Nick, it is not worth all this."

"And there it is," Gene scoffed with a sarcastic chuckle. "My feelings, the woman I love, are not worth fighting over, not worth fighting for."

"I fought hard to be with your father. I fought through every failure and every hard season right beside him and you know it. I would never say that love wasn't worth fighting for. But Gene, you have to fight for it together. Is Kaitlin fighting with you?"

"What are you implying," Gene stared at her.

"I'm not implying anything." She shook her head. "Gene, is Kaitlin willing to fight for this as hard as you are? If you feel like you are losing something, does she feel like she is too?"

"Of course she does," he screamed in his mother's face. "But, I can see now, I am changing nothing. You will not accept it, you will only judge the whole thing as cheap and childish. I'm going over there at six in the morning, so I suppose I better go and pack," he nudged Victoria to the side and ran up the stairs past Nick and Heath.

"Nick," Jarrod cautioned as he turned to follow. "Let him go."

"But Jarrod," Nick protested loudly.

"If you want to do something about it, come with me," he nodded toward the door. "I'm going to try to talk to Jeb."

"Fine," Nick growled and turned to Heath with an expectant look.

Heath looked at Jarrod and then at Victoria. "I think I'll sit this one out if it's alright with you two," he shook his head. "I don't think that I'm the right person to help over there right now."

"Sure Heath," Jarrod gave an understanding nod. "We will be back soon," he assured Victoria as he pulled his hat from the rack and followed Nick out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you alright," Heath asked quietly as he walked up behind Victoria who was still watching the door that Jarrod had pulled closed behind him.

"I'm sorry about what he said to you Heath," Victoria took a deep breath in but didn't turn around. "He shouldn't have said that; he doesn't mean it."

Heath put a steady hand on her shoulder and gently turned her around to look at him. The tears were still rolling down her cheeks and her arms were folded across her stomach as though she were protecting herself from something. "He's angry mother," he shook his head. "I don't think that he really meant any of the things that he said," he paused a moment. "to any of us," he added.

Victoria leaned her head against Heath's chest as he wrapped both arms around her loosely. "I hate that he is hurting. I hate that we didn't realize how serious he was about Kaitlin."

"I'm sure you would have approached things differently if you had known," Heath answered as he gently swayed her from one side to the other. "He cannot be upset that he never told us. He will see things differently when he calms down."

"I hope so," she nodded and pushed herself back just enough to look up at Heath. "I really do hope so."

* * *

"Gene," Audra knocked at his bedroom door softly before opening it. "Gene, what in the world is going on?"

"I'm through with it sis," he shook his head as he continued to throw clothes into his suitcase. "I am going with the Potters."

"Gene, you know very well that I heard everything you had to say," Audra frowned and leaned up against the closed door.

"Ah yes," he smiled sarcastically. "Sister goody two shoes does all her eavesdropping from the top of the stairs."

"Gene," Audra frowned. "How long did you say that you have been seeing Kaitlin?"

"Seven months. Why?"

"Why did you never tell me that things were getting so serious between you two? Gene, I didn't even know that you were seeing her that long. I thought that you started seeing her when you moved home, we all did."'

"Well you were wrong. And why should I have to say anything about it. It was nobody's business but ours."

"Ok." Audra nodded. "So why are you angry. You know very well that Mother and Jarrod would have handled it differently from the beginning if they had known about it. But you were just going to come home for dinner engaged."

"I do know that," he stopped for a moment and looked at her. "But my problem is how they behaved after they knew Audra. They dismissed me in spite of it."

"That's not true Gene," she shook her head and crossed her arms. "They let you propose your ideas and Jarrod agreed to one of them. It's not his fault that Jeb Potter is stubborn."

"Audra," Gene shook his head in frustration. "You don't understand. Marrying Kaitlin would make her family to me; family to all of us. You don't do this kind of thing to family."

"But she isn't family yet and she certainly wasn't when Jeb and Jarrod made that deal. You can't change the rules in the middle of the game."

"But it's not a game," he growled and continued with his packing. "It's not a game to me. I am not going to give her up Audra; that means that I have to go."

"You do what you have to Gene," Audra bit her tongue to keep her voice even as the tears began to sting her eyes. "Do what you have to do. Love Kaitlin, marry her, and have a wonderful life with her. Do what you need to do Gene, but don't leave angry just because it didn't go exactly how you planned for it to go. Don't leave angry just because you didn't get your own way. Otherwise, it IS childish." She didn't give him a chance to answer. She stood up straight and walked out closing the door softly behind her and walking back to her own room.

Gene kept packing his things. He couldn't help that he was angry. He felt like his mother was being heartless and hypocritical. He felt like the whole family was dismissing his feelings and his problem. He had to do something. He pondered for a moment and shook his head. He was doing something. He was making a stand, fighting for his love. He was packing his bags and he was going to move to San Francisco. If his family couldn't handle it, that was too bad. He was doing what he had to do to make the life he wanted.

* * *

"What do you want here Barkley," Jeb growled when Jarrod and Nick rode up. "I told you I'd be off this place by morning."

"I know Jeb," Jarrod dismounted and approached the man slowly. "Look, I thought that we should talk about this again. Jeb, my family didn't realize how serious things were between Eugene and Kaitlin."

"Makes no difference to me," Jeb growled. "I ain't takin' no handouts just cause one of your kin wants to marry my girl."

"Jeb, come on," Nick was louder than Jarrod but he was holding his temper in check. "You know full well that we would have handled this whole thing differently if we had known how Gene felt about Kaitlin. Let's just talk about it."

"No, I said," Jeb's voice was louder now. "I tell you, like I told that brother of yours earlier. I said all I had to say about it last night. I don't care what the two of them decide to do."

"Jeb Potter," Mildred yelled as she descended the steps on the front porch. "Would you please think about what you're saying? You are putting Kaitlin in a terrible position because of your foolish pride."

"Foolish," Jeb shouted indignantly. "You know exactly what has gone on here. You know that the only reason there is any talk of letting us keep this place is because that boy wants to marry her. I will not have it I tell you. I will not trade on my daughter for a piece of land."

"For the last time you old mule," she shouted. "No one is trying to say that. No one thinks that Jeb. Just hear them out, make a new deal. Don't make Kaitlin choose between you and that boy. She will hate you for it."

"I am not making her choose. I don't care if she marries him. I don't care if she stays. I won't feel any different about my only child Mildred."

"You know that she won't marry him if she thinks that you won't like him; if she thinks that you will blame him for whatever happens after we leave here. You know that she wouldn't do that to you, she loves you too much," Mildred insisted. "When you stormed out here earlier, she told him to go, that she was coming with us."

"That is her decision to make," Jeb yelled back. "She is a grown woman, I can't tell her what to do and I can't tell her how to think. She has to do it on her own."

"But you don't have to make it hard for her. She loves that boy Jeb."

"Then let her marry him and stay here. My mind is made up about this. I will not sit here takin' charity from a Barkley."

"It's not charity Jeb," Nick's frustration was growing just from witnessing the argument between Jeb and Mildred. "It's a renegotiation, people do it all the time and no one calls it charity."

"What Nick," he turned to face the younger man. "What are you offering me. You want that boy to pay what I owe? I ain't letting a man I owe pay himself, that is exactly what charity is."

"We don't have to foreclose on the whole ranch," Jarrod offered. "We could just take half and you could pay what you owe next season."

"You said no to that last night Jarrod," Jeb shook his head. "How them youngins feel about one another don't change the circumstances."

"Yes is does Jeb," Jarrod countered. "Gene wants to marry Kaitlin. He would be here to help you with this place, make a better go of it next season. He's got the brains and the know how to get right to work. Besides, he would still have a stake in our ranch. He could make a good life for Kaitlin and you can all stay on here. Isn't that what you want Jeb. Isn't that why you were trying so hard to make this work all the way up to last night."

"I can't agree to it Jarrod," Jeb shook his head sadly and lowered his voice. "You don't understand. Just because you all say that it isn't like selling her out for this place; just because you say people wouldn't see it that way, it doesn't mean that wouldn't be how I felt about it. I couldn't live with that kind of shame, it doesn't matter what people think. I couldn't live feelin' like I used my only child to get ahead in this life. That ain't the way a father is supposed to act."

"What about what Kaitlin thinks," Jarrod tried desperately. "Would you feel any different if she came down here and said that she didn't see it that way? If she loves Gene as much as he loves her then she wouldn't think of it that way at all."

"You ever done anything to your family that you were ashamed of," Jeb looked them both square in the eye. "You ever put them through something that you felt horrible about?"

"Of course," Jarrod nodded. "Nick and I have both made choices that hurt our family."

"Did it make you feel any better knowing that they didn't blame you. Did it make it any easier on your conscience knowing that they didn't feel as strong about it as you do?"

"Jeb," Jarrod protested as the man turned toward the house and started to walk away.

"Jarrod," Nick put a heavy hand on his older brother's arm. "Come on." Nick tipped his hat to Mildred and started back for the horses.

"Mrs. Potter," Jarrod followed his younger brother's example. "Why did you stop me," Jarrod asked as he mounted his own horse.

"Because he's right," Nick answered with a low sigh. "No matter what he does, he is going to hurt about it for a long time. Taking away his pride would only make it worse."

"You realize what is going to happen." Jarrod looked at his brother sadly as they started for home. "You realize that Kaitlin will go with him. She will refuse to stay and marry Gene. You know that Kaitlin will end up resenting him and us and so will Gene. Jeb is not the only one getting hurt this way."

"All that matters is that Gene doesn't resent her for doing what she has to do," Nick shook his head.

"Really," Jarrod asked incredulously. "You can live with the fact that our brother is going to eventually come to resent you, and me, and our mother over Jeb Potter's pride?"

"All we can do for him is let him know that we did everything we could to make it right Jarrod," Nick shook his head. "How he feels and how long he feels it are up to him. It's like Jeb said, they are grown."

"I know," Jarrod conceded. "You're right. I just wish I could have fixed it."


	7. Chapter 7

Gene didn't hear anyone when he left his bedroom with two suitcases and headed down the grand staircase. The whole house was quiet, he couldn't recall off the top of his head when he had ever heard it so quiet before. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and set down his suitcases. He walked into the library and found it empty. He spent many evenings in here with his family, it was where his father had taught him to play chess and where his mother had taught him to read. He walked back out across the foyer and into the parlor. He looked at the piano where his mother and sister had spent so many days learning to play and entertaining guests with their talent. His eyes fell over his father's portrait hanging above the fire place.

"I've got to fight for what I want. I know that you would understand that if you were still here. Of course, you would have known about Kaitlin and I too, you always knew what was going on even when we tried to hide it." A sudden flash of anger came over him. "I wonder if it's because you were always hiding things from us. I think sometimes you did all of us just as wrong as Mother and Jarrod are doing to me now. I'm not coming back." He stormed out to the foyer, picked up his bags and headed out the front door. He went straight to the barn and saddled his horse. Then he went and found some rope and tied the cases together so he could drape them like saddle bags, at least until he made it to Potter's ranch.

"You're really leaving," his mother's voice coming from the corner near the door sent a cold chill down his spine.

"I told you, I am going to fight for her. I'm not giving her up."

"You know that your brothers went over there last night and tried to fix things," Victoria watched as he continued to work. "Jeb wouldn't listen to them either. Your brothers tried to do right by you and Jeb."

"It's too little and too late Mother," the way Gene said her name made Victoria feel like someone replaced her blood with ice water. "This is what I have to do. I might not make it rich with her and I may not amount to much, but I will be happy."

"Will you write to me Gene? Will you let me know that you're safe and doing well?"

Gene summoned every ounce of anger that he felt and bit back the tears threatening to escape. He would not let his mother make him feel bad. He would not fall for this trick. "Would it make any difference at all," he draped the bags over his saddle and refused to look at her. "I'm leaving mother and I have no intentions of coming back here again."

"Alright," Victoria fought hard to maintain her composure. "I understand that. I hope that it is everything you want Gene, I really do. But if it's not, you know…"

"I said I'm not coming back, so please don't pretend to have a heart today," he interrupted as he pulled his horse toward the barn door. "Please," he heard his voice crack just slightly. "Just let this be the end of it, all of it." He didn't look over at her as he mounted his horse and started toward the front gate. He didn't turn back at all.

Victoria watched him ride off until he was nothing more than a tiny dot on the horizon. She couldn't move and she felt like she couldn't breathe. He was her youngest, her baby boy; something about that had always made him special. And something about that was killing her now. Sure, he had hurt her with his words, but it was so much more than that. All her children had hurt her before, but none of them had ever turned their back on her, none of them had ever refused to look at her while they did it.

"Mother," Heath's voice cut into her thoughts. She looked around and saw him coming toward her from the house. "Mother, what is it," he asked as he got closer.

Victoria folded her arms over her stomach again and tried to take a deep breath. "Gene is gone," she answered as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

"What," Heath asked in alarm. "It's not even five-thirty yet."

"He said he was going over there for six in the morning," she shook her head. "he said that he had to go."

Heath pulled her close. "I will ride out after him. I will try to talk to him again Mother."

"No," she shook her head again before letting it fall into his chest. "I don't want him to feel guilty about doing what he thinks is right. He has to do it, that's the way we raised him." She wrapped her hands in his collar and cried into his chest.

"Mother, that's fine, but not this way. He can't think straight angry." He was gently swaying her side to side as he planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Heath," Nick's voice boomed from behind them. "What's going on? I thought you were coming out here to…" he stopped when he got close enough to see that Victoria was there. "What happened," he asked in an angry whisper.

"Gene left," Heath answered calmly as he held Victoria tightly.

"Damn fool kid," Nick yanked his hat from his head and raked his hand through his hair. "Come on, let's get out after him."

"No," Victoria pulled away from Heath abruptly. "Nick, he is going and there is nothing we can do about it. You and Jarrod were right, he has to make his own decision."

"I'm sure he will be back," Nick sighed sadly as he watched his mother wipe the tears from her cheeks and smooth out her dress.

Victoria shook her head and looked at her shoes as she started back toward the house. "I don't know," she whispered. "I just don't know."

* * *

Gene was riding and fighting himself. He was trying to convince himself he had done the right thing. His mother WAS heartless, she WAS greedy. He couldn't stay, he couldn't write to her and give her that satisfaction. He couldn't even look back at the house he was born and raised in. All that mattered now was what was in front of him. All that mattered was Kaitlin.

"Kaitlin," he called out as the house came into view.

"Gene," she was surprised to see him. "Gene what are you doing here," she asked as she walked from the wagon in front of the house toward him.

"I'm coming with you," he slid off his saddled and pulled the ring he had given her yesterday from his shirt pocket. "Marry me Kaitlin."

"Gene," she threw her arms around him. "You're really going to leave the valley? You're really going to be happy in San Francisco?"

"I would be happy anywhere as long as it meant that I was with you," he squeezed her tightly. "It might not be the way we planned and we might not be rich, but none of that matters to me."

She pulled back slightly and let him slide the ring on her finger. "I don't care about any of that Gene. I only care about you. What will your family say though Gene?"

"I don't care anymore. I rode out this morning and I'm not going back Kaitlin. They said what they said and I won't hear anymore."

"What are you doing back here boy," Jeb's voice called out from the front porch.

"Daddy," Kaitlin ran to him in excitement. "Gene is going to come to San Francisco."

"What's this now," Jeb seemed confused. "Why would you do that Barkley?"

"I told you Mr. Potter," Gene walked up next to Kaitlin. "I want to marry Kaitlin. I love her. If she is going to San Francisco then so am I. I know that you won't take from a Barkley; I understand that. So, on my way through Stockton, I will draw three months pay from my account; that is how long I have been home from school and working on that ranch. That is all I have to offer now, all I will take from the Barkleys from now on."

"You are going to give up your fortune boy," Jeb seemed conflicted. "I ain't askin' you to do that."

"I know," Gene nodded. "But you won't take from a Barkley and neither will Kaitlin. We will lead the best life that we can making our own way."

"Kaitlin, is this really what you want," he asked his daughter seriously. "I told you I wouldn't think less of you if you stayed to marry Eugene. I won't disown you for marrying a man you love no matter who he is or what there is between us."

"I don't want to stay if you're gone. I don't want to live here and remember that you had to leave because of them. Daddy, I love Gene but I don't want anything to do with his family. I told him that last night; I wouldn't marry him if you wouldn't stay here too."

"So you love him. You will marry him even though he ain't gonna be rich no more?"

"Of course," Kaitlin smiled. "I love Gene not his money."

"Well then," Jeb sighed. "You best stow them bags in the wagon," he nodded to Gene's horse that was tied to the fence. We got a way to ride, so give us a hand with the last of these things would you?"

"Yes sir," Gene nodded and started to work. For the first time since yesterday morning he felt happy, really happy. He was getting what he wanted. He was getting Kaitlin.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Last Year: Thanksgiving_ _(San Francisco)_**

"Kaitlin," Mildred called from the dining room. "Pull that pie out of the oven. Gene will be here any minute."

"Yes mother," Kaitlin called back from the kitchen. As she closed the oven there was a knock at the kitchen door and Gene poked his head inside.

"Can a man come on in out of the cold sweetheart?"

"Of course," she smiled and went to hug him after placing the pie on the counter to cool. "Daddy says it is going to be a long winter," she sighed as he held her close.

"Feels like it," Gene agreed and kissed her hair. "Makes working at the store sound a might more appealing than the depot though."

"Why's that," she gave him a puzzling look.

"Well," Gene shrugged. "At least it is warmer inside the store. Sure beats ranchin'."

"That's what he said too," she laughed. "Of course he said it was better for his old bones."

"Well," Gene sighed. "Either way, loading those crates gets pretty cold. I'll be pleasantly surprised if we're blessed with a shorter winter than everyone is saying."

"How's your room at the boarding house?"

"It's alright," Gene smiled. "I'm used to it by now anyway; it's been a little more than a year. I know that you are still anxious to have the wedding, but it will take me a while to finish saving up enough for a place of our own."

"I told you that doesn't matter to me," Kaitlin shook her head and went back to the salad she had been finishing. "We can stay here too."

"Let's not worry about it now," he smiled and grabbed a bowl filled with potatoes for the table and moved toward the door to the dining room. "We have all winter to make our decisions about it."

* * *

 ** _Last Year: Thanksgiving (Stockton)_**

"Boy Howdy is it cold out there," Heath shivered as he closed the door to the house. He made quick work of his coat and hat and went to the fire blazing in the parlor. "I sure hope that winter goes by quick."

"Fat chance of that," Nick was right behind him. "You know it's gonna be a long, cold one."

"I thought I heard you two out here," Jarrod came from the library. "How are things looking today."

"Cold and grey," Nick scoffed. "Just like they did yesterday and just like they are going to look tomorrow. We can't all be fancy lawyers luxuriating in the warm library all day. Some of us have to get out there and work this place."

"Now Nick," Heath teased. "You know that he is facing his own long winter cooped up in the house with these women all winter long."

"And just what is that supposed to mean," Audra surprised them all standing in the foyer, leaning against the wall going into the parlor.

"Hello sweetheart," Jarrod planted a kiss on her cheek. "I thought that you were helping mother with Thanksgiving dinner."

"I was," she smiled roguishly at him. "She sent me to tell the three of you that it will be on the table in five minutes and if you are not all three washed up and down here by then, no pumpkin pie for anyone."

"Well now," Heath's ears perked up. "We best move then."

"Right," Nick nodded and they playfully raced one another across the floor and up the stairs to the washroom, pushing and shoving to beat each other there.

"You better go too," Audra advised Jarrod. "Mother did not say there were any exceptions."

"Yes ma'am," Jarrod winked and followed slowly after the other two as Audra made her way back to the kitchen.

Victoria was pulling the pie from the oven when Audra pushed through the door. "Mother, that looks wonderful," she marveled and took a deep breath. "It's smells good too."

"Thank you dear," Victoria laughed. "You know that this is one of the most important parts of any Thanksgiving dinner."

"Of course," Audra nodded and walked up beside her mother to admire the pie. "There is never any left over the next day.

"No," Victoria shook her head. "Gene always takes the biggest piece when he thinks no one is looking," she added without thinking. As soon as the words passed her lips Victoria felt terrible pain wash over her and she wished she hadn't even thought it.

"I'm sorry Mother," Audra said as she gently touched her arm.

"Don't be ridiculous," she blinked away a few tears hard and fast. "I'm the one who said it. I'm the one who thought it. Put the gravy on the table would you please."

"Of course," Audra gave a short sigh, picked up the gravy and walked out.

Audra only knew part of it. She didn't know what Gene said to Victoria the day that he left. She didn't know that Victoria had sent a telegram to San Francisco for Gene only to get a response that there was no one by that name living there. She and Jarrod had not told anyone that Gene took a small amount of money from his account on the day he left and hadn't touched it since. All Audra knew is that Gene left early in the morning the way that he said he would and he had not even bothered to tell her goodbye.

Victoria was afraid that something could have happened to him. She was afraid to think that Gene might not have made it to San Francisco and she was afraid to think of what it meant if he had. If he had made it, if he was there and was not using the money that was rightly his or answering the telegram, it could only mean one thing. It could only mean that he really did hate her and the family too. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. She wouldn't think this way, not today. It was Thanksgiving and she intended for all of them to have a lovely dinner and a great evening together. She gathered herself and sent up a silent prayer that wherever he was, Gene was safe and enjoying his pumpkin pie.

"I have to go away for a trial," Jarrod told Victoria as they sat alone together in the parlor later that night. "I will be gone for a week, maybe ten days."

"Where is it," she asked as she fixed herself a brandy and returned to the sofa.

"San Francisco," he answered. He had hoped she wouldn't ask, even though he knew that she would.

"I see," she nodded. "You will be home before Christmas though."

"I promise," he smiled as he got up to return his own empty glass to the tray. "Of course, this will give me an excuse to do a bit of my last-minute shopping too."

"Naturally," she smiled. "You better tell your brothers. They may need some things too, you know how they can put things like that off."

"I will ask them," Jarrod watched her carefully. "Mother, I…"

"You have a good time while you're there too Jarrod," she cut him off. "Don't burn yourself out with work."

"Whatever you say Mother," he nodded, understanding that he was not to broach the subject of Gene or trying to find him just now. He walked over to her, leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I think I will be turning in now. Goodnight lovely lady," he cooed softly.

"Goodnight Jarrod," she smiled and watched him go. She sipped her brandy and stared at the fire. She didn't want to think about Gene, but she couldn't help it. The tears welled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. He was gone and she could feel it; she could feel it at the table, in the empty room upstairs where he had slept; even now when it was only her and the portrait of Tom above the fire place. Gene was gone. He must be. Jarrod had been to San Francisco a dozen times in the past year and he had never found Gene, or the Potters, or anyone who had ever heard of them. Gene was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Six Months Ago: (San Francisco)_**

"Sweetheart, what is it," Gene asked expectantly. "You've been so quiet lately."

"Gene," Kaitlin shook her head. "I am still just so unhappy here. I don't like San Francisco."

"I keep telling you, I will go anywhere you want to go. I will do anything that you want to do. I want you to be happy."

"Gene, have you ever been happy here?"

"What do you mean," he tipped his head to the side and stared at her. "I am always happy when I am with you."

"I don't know," she shook her head. "It just doesn't seem like you are as happy as you were when we were back in the valley, back at your home."

"That's not my home now,' Gene insisted. "I know that things are different, but I really am happy just being with you. I don't mind living here, but I don't mind going somewhere else. All I want is you. I love you."

"I love you too," she nodded.

"So, when do you want to have the wedding? We should do it soon or winter will be on us again."

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I used to be so anxious for the day to come, but I need to get out of this mood first darling. I want my wedding to be the happiest day of my life. I don't want to feel unhappy when it happens. Do you mind waiting a little while longer?"

"Of course not," he snatched up her hand and pressed it gently to his lips. "It's the rest of our lives either way," he grinned.

* * *

 ** _Six Weeks Ago: (San Francisco)_**

"Hello Darling," Gene opened the door to his room at the boarding house. "You look lovely today. What are you doing here, I thought that I was not going to see you until later tonight for dinner at your parent's house."

"Gene, I need to talk to you," Kaitlin closed the door and sat down on the bed nervously smoothing the wrinkles from her dress. "Look, I didn't want to do this now, but I'm afraid if I wait any longer I will lose my nerve."

"What is it," Gene sat down next to her.

"You know that I haven't been happy here."

"Yes," Gene nodded.

"Well, I decided that I am going to go to St. Louis. I am leaving on the next train."

"What," Gene was shocked. "What are you telling me?"

"Gene, things are not the same. Things haven't been like they were with us since the day we left the valley. I know that the way you left things with your family bothers you a little bit. I know that you hide every time you see Jarrod getting off one of those trains when he comes here for work."

"Sweetheart," Gene shook his head. "I've told you, that is the past. It has nothing to do with now."

"But it does for me," a single tear rolled down her cheek and she pushed it away hard. "Gene, I fell in love with you back there, back then. It never had anything to do with who you were or how much money you had. It was never about leading a wealthy life, it was about you. But I can't forgive what your family did to my father. He's not happy here, no matter what he says. He's just a shadow of who he used to be and he is ashamed of himself. And the fact is, I've grown so resentful that he didn't fight harder to keep himself on that land that he loved so much."

"Kaitlin, I…"

"Gene, please," she held up her hand to silence him. "I have to do this. I have to go and I can't marry you. I just can't be a Barkley. And I know that you left there for me. You came here, you use a different name and you quit everything that ties you to them for me, but Gene you are still a Barkley. It's who you are. I understand now. I know that you love me and I love you. I never loved you for your name or your money, but that is why I can't go on with this anymore. I can't be a Barkley wife and you can't stop being a Barkley man no matter how hard you try."

"Kaitlin please," Gene felt his own tears building. "Don't do this."

"I have to Gene," she took the ring he had given her off her finger and laid it on the bed between them. "I really have to. I have to move on from here, from my family, from yours, and from you. I have to make my own start and my own way. It's the only way that I will ever have a chance to be truly happy again." She jumped from her place on the bed and ran out before Gene could stop her and before he could say anything more.

Gene sat there in shock, staring back and forth between the ring next to him and the open door. He couldn't believe this was happening. He knew that she had felt unhappy, but she kept insisting she would be ok. She said that they would go away together and everything would be good again. It couldn't end this way; he couldn't let her walk out like this. He grabbed the ring, shoved it in his shirt pocket and ran all the way to her parent's house.

"Gene," Mildred answered sorrowfully when she opened the door.

'Please Mildred," Gene begged. "I have to talk to her. I can't let her go. Not without letting her know how I feel."

"She's already gone Gene. She packed her bags last night and took them to the depot before she came to see you. She told us that she couldn't stay here, she couldn't be a part of us anymore."

"What," Gene was flabbergasted. It was one think to leave him for being a Barkley by birth, but he had left his family because she would never leave hers. "I don't understand."

"She said that the wounds were too deep," Mildred shook her head. "She said she had to leave all the hurt behind and go on if she wanted to be happy. She promised to write us when she made it to St. Louis and let us know that she was safe," she sighed. "I expect that is all she will let us have now. I'm sorry," her voice hitched. "I can't do this now," she slammed the door shut and Gene could hear that she was sobbing on the other side.

Gene's knees failed him and he was kneeling on the boardwalk outside the Potter's house. He felt nauseous and dizzy. And there was something ringing in his ears. _"Will you write to me Gene? Will you let me know you're safe and doing well? Would it make any difference…?"_ He wiped the sweat from his forehead and pushed himself up. No, he was right to leave. He was right to fight. He couldn't give up. After a few careful steps to shake off the dizzy feeling he was running again, running for the depot. "Kaitlin," he heaved out of breath as he made it to the platform.

"Gene," she had been about to step on the train when she heard him call. "Gene, please don't."

"Kaitlin, why? I have fought so hard to show you how I feel, to prove that I love you. Why are you doing this?"

"Gene," she shook her head. "I know what you've done. But don't you see, you're only fighting against who we've become now. Do you really still love me? Do you really still feel like you did the very first time you asked me to marry you?"

"Of course I do," Gene insisted. "Don't you still love me? Don't you feel like we have to keep fighting?"

"I do love you," she assured him. "But Gene, I don't want to keep fighting. I don't want to fight a losing battle the rest of my life. We will never be happy together now, not like we were. Too much was pushed between us two years ago. I am tired of trying to get back to somewhere I know I can't get back to." She gently stroked his cheek and bit her bottom lip. "Goodbye Eugene Barkley," she whispered sadly and turned and climbed onto the train.

He stood frozen as the train lurched forward and pulled out of the depot. This was not happening. He could not let this happen.

"Hey Gene," Charlie, the ticket man greeted him as he made his way in.

"Charlie," Gene shook his head. "When's the next run to St. Louis, I need a ticket."

"Leaves in a few hours," Charlie frowned. "Wasn't that Kaitlin, I saw gettin' on just now?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I've got to follow her Charlie. I've got to try to get her back."

"Ok, take it easy," Charlie handed him a ticket. "I'll tell Old Man Sanders you've got personal business and you'll be back as soon as you can."

"Thanks Charlie," Gene smiled and headed back to his room. He threw all his belongings in the same two suitcases he had when he had left the valley. He would follow her anywhere, he couldn't let her go. He had come too far, fought too hard to just let her ride away. He would show her, he wasn't the same anymore, but he still loved her enough to fight for her. That had to be enough. Love was always enough.


	10. Chapter 10

**_(St. Louis)_**

"Kaitlin," there was an air of disbelief in Gene's voice.

"Gene," horror flashed across Kaitlin's face as she grabbed his wrist and pulled him outside. "Gene, what are you doing here?"

"Kaitlin, what are you doing here? It took me one day to figure out where you were when I got here. Why are you working in this place?"

"Because, it is the fastest way I know to make enough money to move on to some other town and some other place," she sighed. "Why did you come here Gene?"

"Kaitlin, I love you. I want to marry you. I have to fight for you, for us, for the life we wanted."

"Gene," she sighed. "Can't you see how much you're hurting me? Can't you see how hard you're making it for me to try to move on and forget. I don't want to remember Gene. I don't want to remember the valley or your family. I have to when you're around. That's where we met, where we fell in love. I can't forget it around you and it just hurts too bad to remember."

"But Kaitlin," he protested. "If you love me then we can forget together. If you love me, why won't you fight this?"

"Because Gene," she shook her head. "I already lost you."

"What," he gasped. "I'm right here."

"No Gene," she frowned. "You are there. I lost you the day you proposed or maybe the day we left. Gene, you're not fighting for me. You're fighting to become some other person with some other life. You're fighting a losing battle Gene. I lost you in that valley in California and you lost you too."

"No," he protested. "No, I am here. I am the same man. I'm fighting for a happy life with the woman I love."

"But you're not happy Gene," she countered. "You're not happy and neither am I. We both lost Gene." Kaitlin stiffened her back and bit her tongue. "Go home Gene. Forget it all and just go home where you belong."

Gene felt like she had stuck a knife deep in his chest. "You'll see Kaitlin. I'm going back to San Francisco. I am going to show you that I'm not stuck in that tired old valley. That name means nothing, you'll see," he turned and went back to the train depot. There was a midnight run headed to California that he could make. He sat and watched as the city and then the country came into view and faded back out into the darkness. He fought against it but the echo in his mind wouldn't stop, even when he closed his eyes to try to sleep he could hear the voices playing back in his memory. _"I would never say love wasn't worth fighting for…you have to fight it together. Is Kaitlin fighting with you...as hard as you are? Don't leave angry…otherwise it IS childish. I already lost you. Go home Gene."_ Gene put his hands over his ears and shook his head. Why was this happening; this couldn't be the end for him and Kaitlin.

* * *

 ** _(San Francisco)_**

"Gene," Charlie saw the young man walk into the depot ticket office. "You look terrible boy, what happened?"

"Nothing Charlie," Gene shook his head. "Kaitlin just needs a little time and some space. She will be back before you know it."

"I'm glad to know it," Charlie had a feeling the boy was lying. "Why don't you go on down and get yourself a drink and take the rest of the day for yourself. Old Man Sanders had business out in Modesto and he left me in charge for the rest of the week. Come on back tomorrow after you've had a little sleep."

"Thanks Charlie," Gene nodded and headed out again.

Gene took the advice that Charlie had given him. After he schlepped his bags back to the boarding house and unpacked again, he went to the nearest saloon and bought himself a whole bottle of whiskey. Normally he wouldn't have wasted that much money, he had been saving every penny he earned at the depot to try to afford to buy some land for he and Kaitlin after the wedding. But with things looking the way they did, he figured he would have time to earn the money back again. He took his bottle back to the boarding house and drank until he couldn't even sit up straight anymore. He was trying everything he knew to make the voices that were echoing in his mind: his mother, his sister, Kaitlin, Heath, he just wanted it to stop.

He passed out and woke up the next morning feeling like he had gone six rounds with an ornery bull. He pulled himself off the bed, changed his clothes, and headed down to the depot to work. For the most part, the people he worked with, the men that had become his friends since he moved here left him alone. Charlie had told them that Kaitlin had left and had told Gene she wanted space. They were doing their best to respect the fact that he wasn't feeling so good and might want to be left alone himself. Gene appreciated the gesture, but he hated it too. The whiskey had worn off and his mind raced over all the things that had happened between him and Kaitlin lately. He had noticed from the very beginning that she wasn't the same happy girl he knew, but he chalked it up to anger at his family, being homesick, and hating to live in such a big city. He had never dreamed that her unhappiness and her distance was because of him. He never thought that he had changed since they left Stockton.

"Well Gene, how are you doin'," Charlie asked as the young man prepared to leave for the day.

"I'll be alright Charlie," Gene lied. "Just seems strange not to have her so close right now."

"I'm sure," Charlie nodded. "Well, give her the time boy. She will come around. You've been together too long for her to stay away."

'Sure Charlie," Gene twisted his face into a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Gene," Charlie gave him a firm slap on the back when he turned to go.

That was one of the longest days that Gene could ever remember. The minutes had dragged on with no end in sight. When he got to his room he sat down and wondered what Kaitlin might be doing right now. He shook his head in frustration. He knew where she was and he knew what she was doing. She was staying in St. Louis, she was working at a saloon. She was probably dancing with some drunken stable hand. A pang of guilt tugged on his mind when he remembered huffing that his mother might have degraded herself by working in a saloon if she hadn't come west with his father. How could he have ridiculed her for a decision that she might have made but not Kaitlin when she had actually gone through with it. Gene hated the idea that the woman he loved was working in a saloon, but it didn't necessarily mean that she was doing anything unseemly. He wondered just how much she did in that saloon to earn her pay and he felt his stomach twist in knots that grew tighter the more he thought about it.

Three weeks ticked by and Gene followed the same routine. He got dressed, went to work, kept to himself, and wasted hours thinking about Kaitlin and about how happy they had been back in the valley. He kept replaying the last two years in his mind, trying desperately to pinpoint where he had gone wrong, where everything had changed. He kept coming up short on an answer. Then in the middle of the fourth week, he ran into Jeb Potter while he was buying some groceries at the general store.

"Gene," Jeb seemed surprised to see him. "I didn't figure you'd still be in town?"

"Why not Jeb," Gene frowned. "Got a job to work, got to save up."

"I just figured," he sighed heavily. "With Kaitlin runnin' off and all, you'd want to get back to the valley or move on somewhere new. It can't be good for a man to lock himself up with misery for too long boy."

"Kaitlin, just needs time Jeb," Gene shook his head. "She will see that she and I are meant to be together. She will come back."

"Gene," Jeb shook his head. "She said she thought that things hadn't been the same between you two since you left home. She said that you feel bad about the way you left things with your people Gene."

"I might have felt that way once upon a time Jeb," Gene's voice got lower. "But the truth is, the past is the past. I want Kaitlin and I to move forward, make our own way and our own family."

"Gene," Jeb looked at him hard. "I want to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"When did you fall in love with Kaitlin?"

"The fourth of July dance in Stockton just before my senior year of school," Gene answered without thought. "She was beautiful, smart, and funny. She was always those things I suppose, but that night I just knew. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

"And how long was it before we left Stockton?"

"Oh, a little more than a year I suppose. I didn't even start calling on her for a few months after that. I was worried, she didn't like me."

"So, it's been three years abouts then?"

"I suppose," Gene nodded. "Fourth of July is in a couple weeks."

"And when were the two of you the happiest together that you remember," he sighed.

Gene realized that Jeb was telling him exactly what Kaitlin had been. The difference was that Jeb was convincing him that he really felt the same way. He knew that he had been happier with Kaitlin when they would take picnics down to the swimming holes on the Barkley ranch or he would take her into town for dinner at the Cattlemen Hotel. He hadn't been unhappy with her here, but he realized that he was not as happy as he was when he was with her in Stockton. He realized that they were both trying to forget the valley and what it had done to them. "I think I see what you mean," he answered finally. "We have both been living here trying to forget the valley. The trouble is, that's where we got our start."

Jeb nodded sadly. "Gene, I ain't sayin' you two didn't love one another. I ain't sayin' that you don't still love one another. But you can't erase the beginning of a story and still hope to get to the end of it."

"I never thought about it like that Jeb," Gene sighed. He paused and thought for a moment. "I suppose that me being here isn't going to help you and Mildred forget the valley either. And I can't be with Kaitlin if she doesn't want to remember then."

"Gene, Mildred and I are ok with the life we have here. We hate that Kaitlin left, but I understand that she had too. I'm sorry that I hurt her so badly by bringing her here. I'm sorry that she left you, you two were good for one another. I hate that I probably won't hear from her, but I understand the feeling of needing to stand on your own and stand up for your pride. You do whatever you want. You won't bother us if you decide to stay here, but Gene," he shook his head. "You've got to figure out what you want in life now."

"Now that Kaitlin isn't coming back," he nodded. "Thanks Jeb."

Gene walked back to his room at the boarding house almost as if he were walking in slow motion. He had never considered life without Kaitlin. How in the world was he supposed to decide what he wanted without her? He didn't really like his job, it wasn't what he liked. He loved animals, but the fact was that there wasn't a big call for veterinarians here and the need was more than filled before he got here. He had always loved working with animals, that is a big part of why he had loved the ranch so much. He thought a long time about what it was he wanted before he and Kaitlin had gotten together. He wanted to run the ranch with Nick and Heath. He had wanted to make himself useful to his neighbors in the valley. He had still wanted that when he had first thought of marrying Kaitlin.

He had given up so much to be with her and now she was gone. She had given up on him, on their life together. He realized that he had been fighting much harder for the relationship from the beginning. She had fought, but she had also accepted defeat before they left the valley. He realized that the last two years had simply taught them both a lesson about fighting. She learned that you can't keep fighting after you accept defeat; or maybe it was that you shouldn't keep fighting for something that you didn't want anymore. Gene wasn't really sure. But he knew what he learned from Jeb today. It doesn't matter how hard you fight for something or how much you want it; you can't always win. He had given up everything and he had still lost.

He came back around to the idea about going home. It's where Kaitlin told him to go. He had only fought it because he had wanted to win her back. He saw now that wasn't possible. But how could he go back? He hadn't even looked back the day that he left with the Potters. He had said horrible things to his mother and to his brothers. He was the first one of the siblings to accept that Heath was their brother and he had thrown their father up in his face before he left. It was the last thing that he had said to Heath. He thought about the night before he left. He thought about how he had yelled at Victoria and how she had not had much to say in response. He thought back and tried to remember what she looked like that night. If she was angry, if she had been holding down her temper, it was a reason not to go back. But as Gene closed his eyes he remembered something else. He remembered the moment that Victoria stepped between him and Nick.

She had been crying. She had been hurt by what he said. Gene knew the moment it happened, and he knew now, that she had stepped in because she had known that Nick was furious and there was no way that Gene stood a chance in that fist fight if the others would not have intervened. She had said that it wasn't worth it and Gene had thought she meant that Kaitlin was not worth fighting for. What she had said had been said to Nick. She was saying that SHE was not worth fighting for, SHE was not worth hurting his brother over. How had he missed it; her next words had been nothing more than confirmation that love WAS worth fighting over. He thought back to when Nick had brought Hester with him on their annual camping trip to the mining camp. He thought about the brawl between Nick and Heath when Nick thought that Heath attacked Hester. She had tried to stop them but she had never insinuated that Nick was wrong for fighting for Hester. How had he missed it? How had he been so wrapped up in himself that he missed that his mother not only stood by and listened to him insult her, she had told Nick to let it go. He realized that she hadn't been angry at all, she was only hurt. The thought that he had done that over Kaitlin hurt him now, he could feel the weight of it pulling down on his spirit.

He wasn't sure about that either now. He had loved Kaitlin. The more he thought about the night he left home, the less he could remember about why he had thought that Kaitlin had been worth that much hurt to the other people he loved. He had never felt as though he didn't love them until that night. Why had he put her so far above the rest of them? He still loved her, but he soon realized that his mind was working hard to let her go because that's what she wanted. Whatever happens now, he didn't want to stay here. He had lost his love here and he wouldn't be able to do what he loved here either. There was no reason to stay. But he knew that he could not just go home. It couldn't be that simple.


	11. Chapter 11

**_(One Week Ago: Stockton)_**

"Mr. Barkley.," there was a soft tap at his office door.

"Come in," Jarrod called. "Well, hello there Billy," he greeted the young boy who poked his head through the door before coming inside and pulling of his cap. "What can I do for you?"

"My pa sent me over Mr. Barkley," Billy answered proudly as he held out a piece of paper. "He said that you would want to see this right away sir."

"Thank you Billy," Jarrod took the paper and dug in his pocket. "Say Billy, didn't you just have a birthday not too long ago now?"

"Yes sir," Billy grinned from ear to ear. "I turned ten years old Friday."

"Well then, that's fine," Jarrod smiled. "I think that a birthday entitles you to a bit more than just a dime for your troubles." Jarrod pulled a fifty-cent piece from his pocket and handed it to the boy. "Now Billy," he said softly. "You make sure that you tell your father I am very grateful for him sending this over and then you go on down to the general store and you get some candy for yourself with that."

"Wow," Billy's eyes danced over the large coin in his hand. "I thank you Mr. Barkley. I'll be sure and do that." Jarrod watched with glee as the little boy practically bolted from the office and past the window back toward the telegraph office.

When Jarrod unfolded the telegram, he could hardly believe what he saw:

 _Jarrod:_

 _I have been stupid. Want to talk things over. Coming in on July 3_ _rd_ _._

 _Please meet me. Please don't tell the others yet. We need to talk first._

 _Gene_

Could it be that Gene was really ok? Was he really coming back to Stockton? It had been nearly two years since he left. What could possibly have happened to bring him back now? Jarrod sprang to his feet and trotted down to the telegraph office.

"Jim," he called to the man behind the desk. "Jim, are you sure this is right?"

"Sure am Jarrod," Jim smiled. "I figure I best not say anything to anybody about what that thing says either."

"Jim," Jarrod was still in shock. "Can you tell me where it came from?"

"Of course," Jim seemed confused by the question. Jarrod knew that he could always tell where something had come from. "It came in from San Francisco. I sent Billy right over with it."

"Thanks Jim," Jarrod frowned a bit. "And you're right, you better not say anything. I don't want Mother to find out about this in case it isn't really him."

"I understand," Jim gave a sad nod. "Do you want to send a reply?"

Jarrod looked up from the telegram in his hand. He hadn't even considered it. "Yes," he nodded.

"Go ahead," Jim poised his pencil over his pad.

"Gene, I will see you on the 3rd. I will reserve a room at Cattlemen Hotel in my name for you. Dinner at 6. Jarrod."

"Alright," Jim dropped his pencil and tapped on the message. "All done," he said after a few moments of furious tapping on the key.

"What do I owe," Jarrod started to dig in his vest pocket.

"No, no," Jim put up his hand. "Don't mention it. You made Billy's day, maybe his whole year Jarrod. This one's on the house."

"Thanks Jim," Jarrod smiled. "Hope you still feel that way when he is hopped up on all that sugar later."

Jim just laughed. "Oh, he will be his mother's problem then."

Jarrod nodded and walked back to his own office. A week. Gene was coming to Stockton in one week. He was thrilled at the idea and terrified that this might not be real, might be nothing more than a dream.


	12. Chapter 12

**_(July 3_** ** _rd_** ** _– Stockton)_**

Jarrod paced nervously between the door and the stair case inside the hotel. It was five minutes to six. He had checked at the train station and the stage depot. All arrivals from San Francisco had been on time. He didn't know how Gene would have come in and he didn't dare ask if anyone had seen him. He didn't want his mother bumping into someone and them spilling that Gene was in town, if he wasn't. And if he was, he definitely didn't want to have to explain that he knew about it, for a week no less. When he turned to pass back toward the door he instantly heard something that made him cease his journey.

"Good old Pappy, thinks that on time is ten minutes late," Gene said from the bottom step. "I forgot that."

Jarrod spun around and looked at the man standing there. It was really happening. "Gene," Jarrod had to force his feet back toward the steps. "It's good to see you." Jarrod heard the words come out and he was glad that they had. He hadn't been sure what he should say, he had been afraid to let himself hope that it was Gene. He had been afraid that if it was Gene it would be trouble.

"You too Jarrod," Gene shoved out his hand and shook Jarrod's.

"Let's eat, shall we," Jarrod motioned to the dining room. The two men made their way in sat down and placed their orders. "How are you doing?"

"Alright," Gene shrugged. "Listen Jarrod, I know that this is strange. I'm not really sure how to say all the things that need said. But, I do think that the best way to start is to tell you that I am really sorry about what happened when I left. I was wrong and I shouldn't have left that way."

"Gene," Jarrod looked at the young man across from him and was struck by the fact that he looked like he had aged ten years instead of two. If it weren't for how much he resembled their father and Heath, Jarrod might not have recognized him at all. "I'm not going to disagree that you made a mistake. But we all do it. As far as I'm concerned, it's forgiven," he nodded and sipped his coffee.

"Look," Gene forced himself to hold Jarrod's eyes even though he felt nothing but guilt and shame and an urge to crawl off somewhere else and hide. "I really want to come home," he forced out the words.

"Really," Jarrod was surprised. "I'll be honest little brother, that is not one of the things that I thought you were going to say tonight."

"I'm sure," Gene nodded understandingly. "I know that I have a lot to apologize for to everyone…especially Mother. But I wanted to talk to you first. I knew I could count on you to meet me and not say anything to the others. I knew that, if you could forgive me, I could count on you to help me."

"Of course you can count on me Gene," Jarrod answered reassuringly. "You know that I can't speak for the others. But," he paused for a moment. "Talking to Mother is going to be the hardest part I think. Gene," he paused a moment trying to read the look in his younger brother's eyes. "She has been worried that you're dead."

"What," Gene was shocked by the revelation. "Why would she think that?"

"Gene," Jarrod frowned. "You never wrote or wired to say you had made it. The telegrams she and I sent came back that you didn't live in San Francisco and every time I came to town on business I would look for you but I never found you or the Potters. She was worried that something happened and you never made it there."

The shock subsided and new guilt washed over him. "Jarrod, I worked at the depot. I would hide when I saw you come in on a train. I told the people that I worked with that if you ever asked about anybody named Gene or Eugene they should say they never heard of him."

"I see," Jarrod sat back in his chair. "And the telegrams?"

"I told everyone that my name was Barker. I figured they would do the rest for me; I wouldn't get any telegrams or mail from anyone in the valley. I guess they did."

"They did indeed," Jarrod nodded. "I was never able to find the Potters either."

"That I don't know about," Gene shook his head. "I told all of them that you might come into town on business and that I had no intentions of talking to you. I also told them that I was using the name Barker so you wouldn't be able to find me. I guess they all just avoided you too. They just rent the house they live in and it took folks a long time to warm up to the new people in town. You know how that it," he shrugged.

"That was a really rotten thing to do to Mother, Gene," Jarrod shook his head. "She told me that you said you wouldn't write, but why wouldn't you even let her know that you made it there safely?"

Gene couldn't hold his eyes to Jarrod's anymore. He looked down into his coffee cup and lowered his voice. "Jarrod, I didn't want any of you to come looking for me. I guess I knew that you would either way, but I didn't want Nick or you or Heath or even Mother showing up looking for me there. I wanted to stay gone and forget this place."

"So what has changed Gene," Jarrod asked after the waitress placed their food in front of them. "I want to help you Gene and I'm glad you want to come home, but I've got to understand."

"Kaitlin's gone," Gene answered without looking up. "She left just over a month ago and went to St. Louis."

"What happened," Jarrod asked sympathetically.

"She was never happy in San Francisco," Gene shook his head. "She didn't like the city and she was angry about what had happened here. I wanted to save up for a place of our own before we got married. I told her we could go anywhere once I had it saved. But, when I didn't want to put it off any longer, she said that she wasn't ready yet anymore. She wanted time to figure out what she wanted for the rest of our lives; time to get out of the foul mood she was in about living in the city. Well, when she told me she was leaving I followed her," Gene stopped short.

"So," Jarrod took advantage of the break in the story. "You and Kaitlin never did get married then?"

"No," Gene shook his head again. "I followed her and I found her working in a saloon. I told her I didn't want this for her or for us. She told me that things changed when we left the valley and that all she wanted to do was forget. I said it was fine, we could do that together."

"But she couldn't forget the valley if you were with her, because you were part of it."

"Right," Gene looked up from his plate finally. "I intended to prove her wrong, but when I went back and talked to Jeb; I realized she was right. Neither of us were ever as happy as we had been here. I fought my hardest for her, but I lost. I love her, but I can't keep her."

"I'm sorry," Jarrod answered sincerely. "I really am Gene."

"Thanks Jarrod," Gene started on his food slowly.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Of course," Gene said with a mouth full of the best food he had tasted in months. "I figure, you've got lots of questions."

"Why didn't you just take the money you needed from your accounts. You do know that your leaving didn't change the fact that you had a stake in the ranch."

Gene tilted his head and thought of the last time he had even thought of that bank account. "I knew that Jeb would never feel right about the situation if he felt like he was taking from the Barkleys. And if he didn't feel right about it neither would Kaitlin. So, on the day we left town, I took ninety dollars from my account; three months' pay. I told Jeb that I wouldn't take anything else from the family; that is how long I had been home from school and that is how much I would have made if I was a hand on the ranch."

"I guess that wasn't enough for Kaitlin," Jarrod mused.

"Well, to be honest," Gene continued to eat. "She was never happy like I said. She went to St. Louis and told her parents that she couldn't talk to them anymore if she wanted to try to be happy again. She is just really upset and angry and the only way that she could figure to move past it was to forget about all of us and everything that happened before she left."

"And you think that you can be happy again if you come back," Jarrod asked cautiously. "Gene, please don't take it wrong, but…"

"It's ok Jarrod," Gene smiled at his brother's switch from big brother to the role of lawyer. "The truth is that this is where I was happy. I don't expect it to be the same, but I realized that this is what I wanted before Kaitlin. It is what I wanted with Kaitlin when we were here. I had been willing to give it all up for her. But the fact of the matter is, I don't think that I ever stopped wanting it. It won't be exactly as it was and I know that, but I realized that I really am still the person that I always was. In the end, that's why Kaitlin had to go and I had to let her. I am still a Barkley."

"Alright," Jarrod nodded in agreement as he polished off his plate. "Well, like all Barkley men then, you do sure know how to step in it up to your eyeballs."

Gene laughed, he couldn't remember the last time he had. "I sure do." It felt good to laugh; it felt good to talk to Jarrod. It all felt right somehow. He only hoped that the rest of the family could be as forgiving.

"So, I suppose we should figure out the best way for you to approach the rest of the family. You know that I will do whatever I can to help you with that but ultimately…"

"I didn't ask you here so that you could do the apologizing for me," Gene shook his head. "I just know that I probably said some of the least hurtful things to you. It was my way of starting small in a way. Thanks for the room by the way."

"Of course," Jarrod smiled. "I booked it for a week. I didn't want to assume that you were here to stay or even for anything good."

"Listen," Gene finished his plate and waited until the waitress had left with the dishes before he continued. "I have an idea about how I want to approach Mother. I'd like to ask you what you think of it and if you like it, I'm going to need your help." He looked around. "Could we take this upstairs. I know most people around here won't recognize me but I don't want anyone to slip it to the others that I'm back just yet."

"Sure, room 10 right? I will get us a bottle from the bar and meet you there."

"Great," Gene pushed himself away from the table and headed out ahead of Jarrod. Jarrod paid for the meal then walked over to the bar and bought a bottle of scotch.

"Alright," he said as he handed Gene a glass. "Tell me what you are thinking."

"The fourth of July social tomorrow night," Gene sipped his drink slowly.

"You want to ambush her Gene," Jarrod frowned. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"I understand that thought," Gene nodded. "But hear me out before you make up your mind for keeps ok?"

"Alright," Jarrod sat down in a chair and propped his boots up on the bed post. "Make your case," he smiled at his little brother.

"I was thinking that maybe you could get Audra to make sure that she wears her best dress and that she won't back out of going. She used to back out at the last minute on that kind of thing so that we could go off and have our fun. Anyway," he took another sip. "I figure this way, if she is happy everyone gets to see her that way. If she is not happy, she has the option to walk away and you can take her home. I don't really want to intrude on her home."

"It's your home too Gene. Why would you go to all that trouble when it has the possibility of leaving you to face Nick in front of the whole town? I mean, I don't think that Mother is going to be unhappy Gene, but you know as well as I that none of us can speak for her and we definitely can't read her mind."

"I know," Gene nodded. "But Jarrod. Home is where there are a lot of happy memories for Mother. Sure, there are some bad ones too, but I think, on the whole, her memories there would be good. I don't want to tip the scales the other way if she can't forgive me. It's a little selfish too," Gene added honestly. "If she can't forgive me, I don't want that to be the last time I see the place, the last memory I have."

Jarrod thought for a while. He was almost sure that his mother would be thrilled to have Gene home again. But there was always a chance, however slight, that he was wrong. Then there was the problem of Nick. Heath would hold it together, at least in town, but Nick was quick to anger and he would definitely think Gene had a whoppin' coming his way whether he was forgiven or not. Was he sure enough to risk his Mother's feelings about Gene and her anger at being ambushed in front of the whole town?

"This is a big deal Gene," he advised. "If this goes your way, but you decide to go away again…"

"Jarrod," Gene shook his head. "I left because I loved Kaitlin. As much as I still love her Jarrod, she is gone and she won't come back. Besides, I realized how much hurt I caused. Even if, by some miracle, she did come back. She would have to accept that I couldn't leave it that way again. But I think the odds are hard against that Jarrod. I know I made this mistake. I don't aim to make it again if I'm given another chance with the family."

Jarrod pondered the proposal a while longer. "Alright Gene," he said. "I will get her here. Please, Gene," he let out a heavy sigh. "Please don't make me regret it."

"Thanks Jarrod," Gene put out his hand. "I promise, I will do my part in this. And I promise, that if Mother says go," he felt his words catch in his throat. "I promise if she HAS to say go to let herself be ok then I will go quietly."

Jarrod held Gene's hand firmly. "I can't promise that won't happen Gene. But I don't think our mother will do that to you."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hi Jarrod," Audra looked up from the book she was reading in the parlor.

"Hello sweetheart," Jarrod crossed to the sofa and kissed her forehead. "Where is everyone?"

"Oh, Nick and Heath said that the men were going to scare up a card game out in the bunk house tonight since they have tomorrow off for the most part for the holiday. They went out to lose some money," she teased.

"Well now," Jarrod laughed. "What about Mother and Silas?"

"Oh, Silas went up to bed just a few minutes ago. He wasn't feeling well. Mother wasn't home for dinner, she went over to Tom and Vivian's and she said not to expect her until late. She hasn't seen them in such a long time."

"Good," Jarrod nodded. "Listen honey, I want to talk to you about something."

"Oh," Audra marked her place and discarded her book onto the side table. "What's wrong?"

"Well, nothing is wrong; but it is a secret for the moment."

"Alright," Audra was intrigued. Jarrod rarely kept secrets with her and she knew from the way he had relaxed when she told him Victoria was out that it must be big. "I can keep a secret, what is it?"

"Audra," Jarrod still looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was eavesdropping before sitting down next to her and taking her hand. "Sweetheart, Gene is in Stockton."

"What," Audra gasped. "He is? Is he ok? Where is he?"

"Yes," Jarrod nodded, trying to gauge whether she was happy or not about this news. "He is alright. He is staying at the hotel in town tonight. Honey, he wants to come home."

"Oh Jarrod," he was thrilled to see a smile grace his little sister's face. "That is wonderful. You have to tell me everything."

"Alright," Jarrod returned the smiled and relaxed into his seat. "I promise I will tell you everything I know, but I need your help with something. And I want to get that part done first in case someone comes in and we don't get a chance to finish now."

"What is it," Audra was again intrigued but she had to work hard to listen because her mind was overwhelmed with the idea of Gene being home again.

"Gene wants to surprise Mother at the dance tomorrow night. We can't tell anyone else about him being back until then."

"I understand," Audra nodded vigorously like a small child. "What do I need to do?"

"You need to make sure that she wears her best dress and that she actually goes with us. You know how she backs out at the last minute sometimes."

"Consider it done," Audra slapped her knee. "Jenny Hall, I mean Hollister, made her a beautiful dress and sent it to her a couple weeks ago from Wyoming. This will be the perfect occasion for it."

"Good," Jarrod gave a short nod of approval.

"Now," Audra adjusted herself so she was facing Jarrod directly. "Tell me everything."

"Alright," Jarrod chuckled. He told her that Kaitlin had left and that Gene had decided that since he knew she would not be coming back that he needed to do some soul searching. He told her that Gene had decided that he needed to come back to apologize at least and that he hoped the family would accept him and let him come home. He told her how Gene had been the one who thought up surprising Victoria and that he had wanted to do it that way in case Victoria didn't want him to come home.

"Poor Gene," Audra shook her head. "I can't imagine feeling that way. You don't think that she will actually turn him away do you?"

"No," Jarrod shook his head. "But we cannot know for certain until it happens."

"I suppose," she frowned. "But I don't believe that she will Jarrod. You know how upset she was when he left."

"Yes," he nodded. "I know. I hope this does go Gene's way. The last two years have been hard on him too, not just us."

Just then, Jarrod heard the sound of the door knob turning and he quickly put his fingers to his lips to hush Audra. After what seemed like the longest moment of his life, his mother appeared in the foyer pulling her driving gloves from her hands.

"Jarrod," she smiled. "I didn't expect to see you home so early. I thought you said that you had some business in town tonight?"

"All taken care of lovely lady," he pushed himself off the sofa and crossed the floor to kiss her cheek. "I hear that you went to visit Tom and Vivian tonight. Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Oh yes," she beamed. "I have not seen them in so long. It was good to catch up and spend some time with them."

"Are they going into town tomorrow night," Audra asked as they joined her in the parlor. "I would love to see them again too."

"Vivian said they were going to go for a little while," Victoria nodded. "Tom had never liked those things very much, but he agreed that he would take her for a while so she could have her fun."

"That's nice," Jarrod nodded.

"So," Victoria sighed and sank into one of the chairs across from Audra. "What are the two of you talking about?"

"As a matter of fact," Audra smiled. "Jarrod and I were talking about the dance tomorrow night too. I think that it will be great fun don't you?"

"Honestly dear," Victoria shook her head. "I am not sure that I am going to go. I think that I am getting a bit too old for that sort of thing."

"Nonsense," Audra protested with a pouty look. "You know that I always have so much more fun when you come along. Besides, I know that you enjoy dancing when you get the chance."

"I know," Victoria sighed. "But I think I am just going to stay home and enjoy a good book and a cozy fire while you children have your fun."

"I must protest," Jarrod tried to hide the desperation. "You know that we all want you to come. We have more fun with you than without you."

"Really," Victoria looked over at him obviously less than convinced. "I have never known any other children who feel that way about their mothers."

"Well now," Jarrod smirked. "That's because no other children have you for a mother. Please come Mother."

"Oh," she sighed and thought for a moment. "I suppose. I do like a good waltz," she looked at Jarrod expectantly.

"Well then," he nodded. "If your dance card is not completely filled, perhaps you will allow me to have that dance."


	14. Chapter 14

**_(July 4_** ** _th_** ** _)_**

"I don't know about this dress Audra," Victoria frowned in the mirror as Audra helped her finish lacing up the back.

"Oh Mother," Audra sighed. "You look beautiful. Everyone at the social is going to think so."

"Don't you think that my orange and grey dress would be better. I think that I'm a bit old to be drawing this sort of attention to myself," she complained.

"No, I do not," Audra scolded. "Jenny Hollister spent a lot of time on this dress and sent it all the way from Cheyenne. The least you can do is where it once. Besides, the boys are waiting for us, let's go."

"Oh alright," Victoria sighed. She felt like Audra had tricked her. She knew that Victoria hated to be late and she had purposely waited to help her get ready so there wouldn't be time for her to change.

"Well, well, well, what have we here," Nick smiled from the bottom of the stairs as Audra emerged from Victoria's room.

"You look beautiful Miss Audra," Jarrod complimented as she descended the stairs. "May I have the pleasure of escorting you tonight," he put out his arm when she reached the bottom.

"No, no, no big brother," Nick offered his own arm. "A young lady of this caliber really ought to be seen with the best-looking Barkley stock don't you think?"

"Well that counts you out for sure Nick," Heath teased.

"Thank you all," Audra smiled.

"Well now, don't all of you jump up at once to escort me," Victoria interrupted from the top of the stairs.

"Boy Howdy," Heath thought he might have to pick his jaw up off the floor.

"I believe that will do," Jarrod met Victoria half way up the stairs and offered his arm. "Mother, you look stunning."

"I'll say," Nick nodded. "That dress certainly suits you well."

"Well, it appears that Miss Audra will have to decide which of you boys is unaccompanied this evening," Jarrod smiled slyly at his brothers. "I myself will be escorting this lovely lady," he nodded to his mother.

"Tossed aside for a more beautiful older woman," Audra chuckled. "I would have never guessed."

"Well allow me," Nick bowed and offered his arm to Audra again.

"No, no, Nick has two left feet," Heath protested. "Allow me," he offered his own arm.

"I simply can't decide," she hooked both their arms. "I suppose I will just have to let both of you escort me."

"The great peace maker," Nick scoffed. "Well, let's get a move on."

* * *

"Everything is so beautiful," Audra marveled as Heath helped her down from the carriage.

"It sure is," Nick agreed. "This will be a party to remember."

"Let's hope so," Jarrod nodded to his brother and looked around for Gene. He spotted him on the other side of the dance floor that had been built in the square. They made eye contact for just a moment before breaking it quickly to ensure no one noticed.

"Everything ok," Audra whispered.

Jarrod only nodded once. They had arrived at just the right time. People were starting to gather around and the band had just finished setting up by the floor. As the clan made their way toward the crowd, the band began to play a slow waltz. Jarrod smiled at his good luck and bowed to his mother as his brothers and sister found seats near the floor to watch the dancing when it started. "May I have this dance madam?"

"Oh Jarrod," she laughed. "You don't have to do that. Go find yourself a pretty lady for that."

"I already did," he took her hand and led her on to the floor.

"People are going to talk," Victoria scolded playfully as Jarrod turned her around the floor while everyone watched. No one else had dared to venture out yet.

"Something to the tune of the most eligible, beautiful, and wealthy widow in the valley is dancing with the likes of that boy," he joked.

"More like the most eligible, handsome, and wealthy widower in the valley is wasting his time dancing with his mother instead of finding some new young lady to court," she laughed. She looked around and realized that no one had joined them and everyone seemed to be whispering to each other and staring. "Jarrod, why are we the only ones on the floor?"

"Perhaps they really are beginning to talk, about your dress if nothing else," he winked at her and kept careful time to the music.

"Or maybe they are just waiting to see if the most beautiful woman here and her escort will allow me to cut in," a familiar voice came from behind Victoria, stopping her in mid step.

"Why my good man," Jarrod smiled. "I believe that is entirely up to the lady," he gently released her right hand but kept his left lightly on her waist as she turned to see who was there.

Victoria spun around and immediately felt the tears stinging the corners of her eyes. "Gene," she asked in disbelief.

"Hello mother," Gene took her hand and kissed her cheek.

"Oh Gene," Victoria cried and threw her arms around him. The band picked up the tempo and Gene began to spin her around the dance floor. "I can't believe you're really here," she whispered.

"I wanted to surprise you," he smiled sadly. "And I wanted it to be here so that when I tell you I am sorry, sorrier than I could ever say, you had the option to walk away. Jarrod will be happy to take you back home."

"I would never do that," she squeezed him tighter as they stopped at the edge of the floor. "I will never turn my back on you Gene, you're my son."

"I don't deserve that," Gene whispered back as he squeezed her closer and remembered again how he had turned his back on her the morning that he left. "I was cruel and arrogant. I never should have left the way that I did. I never should have left at all."

"Come sit," she beckoned him off the floor. "Come sit and talk to me please."

"Well little sister," Heath offered Audra his hand as Victoria and Gene grew closer. "May I have this dance?"

"I would love that," she nodded and followed him to the dance floor so that Victoria and Gene could take their seats. Nick trotted off toward Jarrod who was on the other side of the crowd and had been hoping to draw his brother's attention and likely some wrath too.

"Did you know about this Jarrod," Nick fumed as he met his older brother near the bar. "Did you have a hand in this little stunt?"

"Nick," Jarrod kept his cool and sipped his glass of punch. "He is asking for forgiveness; doesn't he have the right to do that?"

"He can ask," Nick fumed. "And she can say no. But not if she is ambushed in front of the entire town. How would she do it? What would people say if she did?"

"You know very well that she does not care what anyone else thinks of her," Jarrod shook her head. "I am certain that if she really was going to say no she would have no trouble doing it here or anywhere else Nick."

"You think she is just going to let it go, let him off the hook," Nick scoffed. "I doubt it."

"It doesn't matter what I think, it matters what she wants," Jarrod insisted. "I intend to stand here and watch how things go. If she gets up to leave, I will be with her in a flash."

"You've got some nerve," Nick growled. "You might have earned yourself a world of trouble over this," he added as he shook his head and padded off toward a group of the hands that had come into town for the social.


	15. Chapter 15

"I can't believe that you're really here," Victoria shook her head and squeezed his hand tightly.

"Mother," Gene looked down at his boots. "Jarrod told me that you thought something happened to me. It was a horrible thing to do not letting you know that I made it to San Francisco alright. I apologize."

"Gene," Victoria tried to will him to look up and meet her eyes. "I did think that something happened to you. But after all, you did say that you had no intentions of writing."

"It was still wrong," Gene shook his head. "I am glad that you are here tonight, I was worried that you would back out of coming the way that you used to."

"I almost did," Victoria chuckled. "I presume that this is why Audra made me wear this dress," she tugged her shawl around her shoulders self-consciously. "She knew that you were going to be here."

Gene smiled up at his mother. "You look beautiful. I don't know what Jarrod told her exactly," he admitted. "I sent him a telegram and I came into town last night. I wanted him to help me; I wanted to surprise you. But I also didn't want to intrude on the house. I have really just come to beg forgiveness."

"You mean that you're not planning to stay," Victoria sounded crushed.

"Well," Gene patted her hand reassuringly. "I didn't assume that all would be immediately forgiven. I wouldn't even allow myself to assume that you or the rest of the family would be able to forgive me at all. Even if you all can, I couldn't assume that you would welcome me back home."

"Gene, if you want to come home," Victoria tried to keep her hopes in check. "If that is what YOU want, I want you there. I am sure that your brothers and Audra do too."

Gene smiled sadly and lowered his eyes again. "For the life of me, I can't even remember now why I felt so righteous. I was so very wrong and I was cruel. I don't know how to begin to make that right. I see now how badly the things that I said and did must have hurt you and that really tears my guts out."

"Gene, you are young. You are entitled to your mistakes." She reached out and gingerly lifted his chin so that he would look at her again. "But there is nothing that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you and wanting you to be happy. There will never be anything that I can't forgive; I'm your mother."

Gene nodded as anguish washed over him watching tears slide down his mother's cheeks. "Mother," he felt his breath hitch and his voice crack. He didn't know if he could form the words that he desperately wanted to. "I," he gulped for air. "I love you so, so much. And I do want to come home. I never should have left."

Victoria threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly to her. "Then I want you to come home," she whispered gently in his ear.

Gene pulled away gently. "Are you sure," he seemed unconvinced. "I know that I hurt you so badly. I understand if you need time to think about it, time to figure out how to trust me again."

"Gene," she shook her head. "I won't pretend that we won't need to talk about things more or that I was not hurt by what you did. I was. But all I have wanted since the day you left was to know that you were ok and for you to know that I will always love you. It won't be the same as it was, but you are always welcome in my home."

Jarrod watched happily from across the crowd as the scene unfolded. He knew that his mother would be giving him a talking to about keeping the fact that Gene had come back from her. But he was glad that he had taken this gamble on Gene's plan. People were greeting Gene as though he had never left and telling Victoria how excited they were to see him home again. Most people didn't know the circumstances of why he had left only that he had been gone for a long while and that the family had not heard from him. He was happy to know that his mother was happy, at least for the moment. When it came time to head back to the ranch, Gene mounted his horse and followed along behind the wagon. It was a silent and tense ride to be sure.


	16. Chapter 16

"I think I need a drink," Nick announced as he headed for the library.

"I think that I'll join you," Heath kissed Audra's hand and followed after Nick.

"I'll get Silas to make us some tea," Audra nodded to her mother with a fading smile.

"What about you Gene," Nick's tone betrayed his frustration as the rest of the family entered the library. "You're a big man now, all grown up," he held out a glass of whiskey to his youngest brother. "Want a drink?"

"Thanks Nick," Gene took the glass and eyed Nick cautiously.

"Now Nick," Jarrod poured himself a scotch and took one step away from the tray. "Don't be angry that I didn't tell you he was here. You would have let it slip and frankly, I didn't trust you not to do something foolish."

"Oh, I'm not mad that you didn't tell me he was here," Nick kept his eyes on Gene.

"Nick," Victoria scolded as she sat down on the sofa. "Listen to what he has to say at least."

"Well boy," Nick waved his hand at Gene. "Go on, say your peace."

"Nick," Gene took a short sip of his whiskey. "I've come back to apologize. I said a lot of things when I left that were way out of line and I am sorry for that. I never should have done it. I know that I can't take them back and I know that I might not ever be able to make up for them, but I want you all to know how sorry I am and how much I would like to try to make things right."

"So," Nick looked at his mother and Jarrod who had gone to sit next to her. "I suppose that we are just supposed to forget it ever happened. We are all just supposed to welcome you home and pretend that you were never gone, is that it?"

"I don't think that is what he is saying Nick," Heath's voice was quiet as he leaned up against the fireplace staring into his whiskey glass.

"You stay out of this Heath," Nick's voice was rising almost involuntarily.

"Nick, he is my brother too. I have my own opinions about what happened that night. But don't twist the boy's words is all I'm saying." Heath stared at Nick hard.

"Oh," Nick gulped his whiskey and slammed the glass back down on the tray. "I suppose then that you remember what HE had to say that night; you remember the names that he called my mother."

"Because you are doing such a great job of reminding me what he had to say about me that night," Heath's eyes flashed with anger. "I'm not defending what he did or said, but don't you dare try to cut me out of this discussion Nick."

"That is not what I am trying to do," Nick shouted. "You're absolutely right. He was rotten to you and to me, but that is nothing compared to how he disrespected her," he pointed to Victoria. "And you know that Heath."

"And I suppose that you have never made any mistakes Nick," Jarrod intervened.

"Sure I have," Nick conceded. "But I never spat on my mother's name. I never turned my back on my family. I never threw everything I had away for some girl."

"The things that love will make you do are limitless," Victoria spoke suddenly as calm and collected as she could manage. "I moved across the country to be with your father. I left everything I had, which wasn't much, but I still left it behind. I did and said things that I never would have before."

"But you never threw away the person that you were," Nick retorted. "You didn't turn you back on anything to do it."

"You're right," Gene's voice was still quiet. "You are all right. I said horrible things to you and to Heath," he looked Nick squarely in the eye. "I said horrible things about Mother that weren't true and things that I knew would hurt her. Heath should have a say, Nick has made mistakes, and no one is perfect." He turned and looked at his mother. "And I WAS in love when I did it all. I blamed you, all of you, for the idea that I was losing the love of my life. She and her family were losing everything to my family and their business and it made me crazy to think that I was going to lose her to as a result. I blamed you all for that and that was wrong, I can't say much more than that."

"Well," Audra appeared in the doorway with the tea service. "I for one would like to know what else you can say." She looked at Nick who had a satisfied smirk at the idea that Audra might be as unhappy with this idea as he was. "I DO think that we are entitled to the full story Gene."

Gene watched as Jarrod relinquished his seat to Audra and she poured two cups of tea, one for her and one for Victoria. He was struck for a moment, by how much she had changed since he left. She was the closest to him in age and they had always been the closest of all the siblings. He could see that his silence for the last two years might well have hurt her almost as much as it did Victoria. He was overwhelmed with guilt at that thought; he had never meant to hurt her that way. He had blamed her, but not as much as the others. He should have let her know that.

"I moved to San Francisco with the Potters. I used a different last name which is why the telegrams that Mother and Jarrod sent were returned unanswered and why Jarrod was never able to find me when he was there on business. I worked at the train depot so I was always able to see Jarrod before he saw me and I was careful to avoid him while he was there." Gene shook his head and took a long pull of his whiskey. "Jeb found work in a general store, Mildred took in sewing, and Kaitlin worked in a doctor's office. Jeb and Mildred rented a small house in town and I moved into a room at the boarding house and started trying to save money for a small wedding and a small piece of land."

"Keep going," Audra prodded mercilessly.

"Kaitlin started to become withdrawn after a few months. She told me that she wasn't happy living in the city and that she didn't want to stay there. I asked her where she wanted to go. I told her that I just wanted to be with her and that it didn't matter to me where we went or what we did. She said that she didn't know, but she seemed to be ok with the idea that we could leave whenever she was ready to or when we decided where we wanted to end up. But then she became more distant even though I didn't realize it right away. I knew that she hadn't been happy, but she was insisting everything would be fine. She started to ask what kind of life we would have and how we would make it without owing everyone for the rest of our lives. She said she didn't want to have to rob Peter to pay Paul."

"Most people don't," Heath interjected.

"A little over a month ago she came to me and she told me that she was going to St. Louis. She said that she had never loved me for my money or my name but my name was making it too hard for her to love me now. She would never forgive the Barkleys for what they did to her father. I told her it was the past and that we could move on together and make our own fortunes. But she said she could never be a Barkley."

"So, it turns out that renouncing your name and your fortune wasn't enough. The girl dumps you and you just come strolling back to it and want to pick it back up."

"No," Gene yelled. "That is not what happened." He took another sip of whiskey and lowered his voice. "I followed her to St. Louis. I found her working in a saloon. I tried to talk to her; tried to take her out of there. But she refused and said that she couldn't marry me. She said she knew that the way I had left here bothered me and that she knew that I could never stop being a Barkley no matter how hard I tried for her or what name I called myself. And it didn't matter how much I loved her or she loved me, she just couldn't be a Barkley wife. She wanted to forget this valley and everything that happened here. She resented this family for forcing her father out. She resented her father for not trying harder. And I think she believed that I would eventually resent her for my leaving anyway. But she couldn't forget while I was with her because, for her, I was this place. But, I was determined to prove her wrong. I went back to San Francisco and I kept at it the way I had for the last two years."

"What changed your mind," Jarrod prompted him in an attempt to help keep him on track.

"I ran into Jeb at the store one afternoon." Gene sighed. "He told me that Kaitlin and I had both been trying to get to the end of the story while we erased the beginning. We were both trying to change the people that we were when we were here."

"But you can't erase who you are," Audra chimed in knowingly.

"No," Gene shook his head. "So after almost a month of having nothing but work and sleep and really painful memories of leaving here, I sent Jarrod a telegram. I told him that I was coming in and that I wanted to talk. I really don't expect it to be like nothing ever happened. All I can do now is ask you all to forgive me even though I know that I don't deserve it."

"I have said to Gene all that I needed to say for now," Victoria started after a long silence. "I am his mother, and just like with all of you, I love you no matter what you say or do. There is nothing that would ever make me not want to have all my children happy and at home."

"I cannot promise that things will be like they were," Audra said firmly as she put down her tea cup. "But I am willing to try and I am happy to have you home."

"Thanks sis," he smiled and nodded, but he didn't dare make a move.

"I told you what I thought when we met last night," Jarrod answered. "We all make mistakes and we are all entitled to second chances."

Gene looked back and forth between Nick and Heath. "Well, what about the two of you?"

"I've got to tell it like it is," Heath held Gene's attention. "I am glad that you are back and that you have apologized. I am glad that Mother and Jarrod and Audra can say that they forgive you."

"But you can't," Gene was half way asking and half way finishing the thought for Heath.

"I want to," Heath nodded. "But I think that I'm going to need a little more time. I suppose it's just who I am, I'm moved by actions. I need to see that you are sincere."

Gene nodded. "I can understand that. You gave us time; I think we all made you show us you were sincere when you got here. I can't ask for more than that from you now. I will do my best to prove it to you; to all of you."

"Nick stood stalk straight with his arms crossed over his chest. "And just how do you intend to prove it?"

"Well," Gene pondered the question a moment. It was a test and he knew it. "I suppose any way that I can. Obviously, I intend to pull my weight with the work around here. I think I can still manage the ranch work and the chores around the house. But beyond that, I think you are just going to have to watch and see how I act in everything else. I will do whatever it takes Nick."

"So you think that a little hard labor is going to show me that you're serious?"

"Wasn't that good enough when it was Heath," Gene shrugged.

"Heath wasn't trying to prove that he knew he had done wrong," Nick shook his head. "And no, it wasn't enough. It just made it easier."

"Well then, what would you have me do," Gene's voice was filled with desperation.

"I don't know," Nick answered honestly. "I suppose I will see what you've got and I'll let you know."

"Nick," Victoria scolded.

"It's alright," Gene cut her off before she could continue. "It has to be this way; everyone in their own time and in their own way. I am just thankful that you all heard me out and that you are all willing to give me a chance. If I am going to be up early tomorrow to get to work, I better go and turn in."

"You're room is just how you left it," Audra offered.

Gene saw the scowl on Nick's face and couldn't help but smile. "Thanks sis, but I'm going to go back to the hotel tonight. All my things are there anyway."

"Oh Gene, please stay," Victoria pleaded. "You can go into town tomorrow and get your things."

"It's alright Mother," he crossed the floor, took her hand, and put it to his lips. "I will be here bright and early tomorrow morning, I promise," he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before he turned to go.

"I'll walk you out," Nick followed him out of the library and out the front door.

"What is it Nick," Gene stopped when they were outside. "You intend to give me my whopping now?"

"Don't test me boy," Nick frowned. "Did you really mean all those things that you said in there?"

"Of course I did," Gene tried not to sound as indignant as he felt. "I don't know what it will take to convince you, but I will do it, even if it's the last mortal thing I do."

"Gene," Nick shook his head. "You know that I could care less about the things that you said to me back then. You know that I get that sometimes you have to go off and learn lessons for yourself, even if it is the hard way. Lord knows I've done my share of that," Nick's voice was calm but still very forceful and intimidating. "But the things that you said to Mother…"

"I know," Gene cut him off. "There is nothing that I could ever say or do that will make the things that I said to her ok. Just like there is nothing that I can ever say or do that it will make it be ok that I repeated them all to Kaitlin and told her that I meant all of it. Nick, the past month, I have replayed that night in my mind a thousand times. The look that Mother had in her eyes that night has been haunting my dreams. It wasn't angry and it wasn't bitter or heartless or any of the other names I called her. It was just hurt Nick, the kind of hurt that you can only feel when you love a person more than anything else in the world; the kind of hurt I had never felt and couldn't have understood until Kaitlin left me. It wrenches my guts even more when I realize that was all there was; there was not anger or bitterness mixed in at all, just hurt."

"You do realize that she is terrified that if you ride out to that hotel tonight that you are going to disappear again?"

"I know," he nodded. "But I won't. I will be here by sun up and I will pull my weight, you have my word."

"Forget that," Nick sighed. "Go upstairs to your room and go to bed. Have breakfast and then go to town and get your things. There is no reason that you can't start pulling your weight tomorrow afternoon."

Gene eyed Nick cautiously. "Why are you doing this? What made you change your mind?"

"I haven't made up my mind," Nick shook his head. "But if you are serious about making these amends then you are not going to put Mother through one more night of worrying where you are and whether you are coming back."

Gene nodded, "I suppose that makes sense."

"I don't know how much you know or how much Jarrod and Mother told you Gene," Nick lowered his eyes to the ground. "Things have happened since you've been away. Things that have made Mother see some things differently. Things that have made her more fragile in some ways. I hate the things you said then, but I am inclined to hate the idea that she be more worried than necessary about anything now. Just keep that in mind ok."

"Nick," Gene was quiet as they walked back toward the house. "I am going to do everything that I can to make things right with Mother. I love that woman more than words can even begin to say."

"I know," Nick opened the door. "But like Heath said, actions speak louder than words."


	17. Chapter 17

"Gene," Victoria and Audra were halfway up the stairs when Gene and Nick entered the house.

"I'm going to stay," he smiled at his mother. "Nick talked me into it."

Victoria flew down the stairs and kissed Nick's cheek. "Thank you Nick," she whispered and went to Gene and threw her arms around him. "It is so good to have you home," she smiled. "Come on," she looked at him. "I will go up with you and make sure that everything is as it should be in your room."

"Alright," he took her hand as she pulled him up the stairs.

"That was very sweet of you," Audra came back to the bottom of the stairs and hugged her brother. "Does this mean you have come around?"

"Not yet," Nick kissed her head and gently pushed her back to look in his eyes. "I did it for Mother."

"Well," she sighed. "It was sweet of you all the same. I'm sure that Mother appreciates the gesture."

"Good night," Nick smiled and headed back into the library.

"Well," Jarrod asked when Nick came back inside.

"Gene is going to stay here tonight," he said pouring himself another whiskey. "Mother is up there with him making sure that his room suits him," he added sarcastically.

"What did you say to make him stay," Jarrod slipped into cross-examination mode.

"Mostly that he should stay to put his Mother's mind at ease," Nick shrugged. "I told him that she deserved better than another sleepless night of wondering whether he would come back or not."

"Hmm," Jarrod nodded in thoughtful agreement. "I suppose that's a good argument. Of course, it wouldn't have anything with you wanting to make sure that he came back?"

"I have no intention of being held responsible for him staying away," Nick growled. "However, I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with him being back."

"Why is that," Jarrod asked with narrowed eyes.

"Because if he leaves again, no matter what the reason, it will tear Mother to pieces," Heath answered for his brother. "Because we all know that there is no way Mother could stand another blow like that."

"Right," Nick nodded and gulped his whiskey.

"You both realize that Mother is stronger and more resilient than we give her credit for," Jarrod sighed. "We can't treat he with kid gloves all the time."

"Jarrod, you know what has gone on for the past two years. Mother has had her guts torn out in more ways than one and if that boy makes it worse, I will knock him senseless myself," Nick was clearly frustrated.

"He seems sincere," Jarrod argued. "We at least owe him the chance."

"Jarrod is right," Heath acquiesced. "But Nick makes a very valid point too Jarrod."

"I know," Jarrod sighed. "But I think that Mother deserves the chance that Gene means what he says and that he is back home to stay. If Kaitlin really did go for good then there is no reason why he wouldn't stay."

"I suppose," Nick shook his head. "But I also suppose that only time will tell for sure. I just hope that he came back for the right reasons."

"Me too," Heath nodded. "It wasn't right to leave here angry but it wouldn't be right to come back just because he was heartbroke either."

"I don't think that's why he did it," Jarrod shook his head. "But let's just give him the time and we will all find out."


	18. Chapter 18

"Nick," Gene called as he galloped into the corral and dismounted his horse.

"What's the rush there little brother," Nick patted his horse.

"I just wanted to get back and get to work as soon as I could. I'll drop my bags in the house and then I'm all yours," he put up his hands as an act of surrender.

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way. You and Heath and I are going to check the fences around the south 40," Nick smiled. "I'll saddle you a new horse while you put your bags up."

Gene nodded and headed for the house.

"It doesn't take three people to ride fence," Heath protested.

"True," Nick transferred Gene's saddle to a fresh horse. "But, I want to see him work for a while," Nick shrugged. "I want to see what kind of effort he makes when we are around. Then in a couple days, I'll send him out with Peters and I'll get a full report from him on how the boy is working."

"You don't think he will see that for what it is? He's not stupid."

"True," Nick smiled up at Heath. "But I'm gonna have Peters work that boy so hard, he will break if he's going to."

"I'm ready," Gene reappeared.

"Let's get a move on," Nick mounted his horse and the three of them trotted off toward the south 40.

Fortunately, there were not too many places where the fence was in need of repair. Nick knew that was really a good thing for him and for the ranch. But he had wished that he could make Gene do a bit more work. He watched his brother make the necessary repairs with all the skills that Nick had helped to teach him when he was young. Gene had barely been a teenager when their father died and so Nick had to help him learn a lot of the chores on the ranch that their father would have taught him. Gene leapt at the chance to work and did everything Nick and Heath asked of him.

"That was a pretty good way to start," Gene said to no one in particular as they rode back to the house. "Although I sure wish I could have done more."

"What do you mean," Nick asked.

"Well, I just mean that it was a nice easy day. There weren't too many repairs that were necessary which is always good. But, I haven't felt useful in a long time. I guess I'm just excited to be back here doing the things I know how to do, things that I actually like to do."

"Well," Heath sighed. "I sure am glad you feel that way. After dinner, Nick and I were going to paint the shudders on the house. Maybe you would like to give us a hand with that."

Nick groaned. "I thought we agreed that we were going to pawn that job off on Peters next week."

"Now Nick," Heath smiled. "If Gene is so all fired to help out then it won't take the three of us more than a couple of hours to do the whole house. Just think how happy Mother will be that it is finally done, and all in one shot too."

"Happy to do it," Gene frowned a bit. "I haven't painted in a while, but I'm sure it's just like falling off a log right?"

"Oh yeah," Nick chuckled. "You'll fall right into it, I'm sure."

"Here Nick," Gene held out his hand for the reins. "I'll put the horses up and then be in for dinner."

"Well thanks Gene." Once Gene was in the barn and out of ear shot, Nick turned to Heath. "What's the big idea with painting those shudders tonight? You know that we weren't planning to do that or have it done until next week."

"Well," Heath shrugged. "I just figured, if he is serious about all this then he won't have any problem painting all the second and third floor shudders while you and I do the first floor," he was grinning ear to ear.

Nick smiled. "You my dear brother may just be a genius. Although, you know the minute that Mother sees him up on that ladder, we are going to be in for it because she will know that we put him up to it."

"Well what a coincidence," Heath smiled wider. "Mother and Audra are riding into town after dinner tonight. There is a meeting about the orphan's fund charity bazaar next month and then Mother said she was going to stop off on the way home and check on Jenny Miles. Apparently, Jenny has basically stayed shut up in her house since Wally died a couple months back."

"Looks like you REALLY are a genius," Nick slapped his back and laughed as they headed for the house. "That meeting alone will be two hours or more, all those women together trying to plan something that big."

"You know it," Heath chuckled.

* * *

"Looking good little brother," Nick observed Gene on top of the ladder finishing the last of the third-floor shudders. "Not too shabby at all."

"Glad you're satisfied," there was an obvious shake in Gene's voice as he climbed down the ladder.

"What do you think Heath," Nick asked as Heath came around the front of the house.

"Not too bad," Heath made a brief show of scrutinizing Gene's work. "You made pretty good time too."

"Look," Gene frowned. "I know what you guys are doing. I just want you both to know, I mean what I said. I am going to do everything to show you and Mother that I'm serious, even if it means climbing three floors high on a ladder."

"That's right," Heath looked at Nick. "I tell you, I forgot that Gene here was scared of heights."

Nick smiled. "Well, good for you for facing that fear," he patted Gene on the back. "Now take that ladder and put it away."

"Sure." Gene took the ladder to the storage shed and came back. "Nick, I wanted to ask you about something you said last night. Could we have a drink and discuss it."

"I suppose so," the three boys headed to the house.

They all went into the library, poured themselves a drink and took up their typical positions. Heath was in one of the chairs, Nick was leaning on the fireplace, and Gene sat on the edge of Jarrod's desk.

"What is it you want to talk about," Nick nodded to Gene to speak.

"I want to talk about Mother," Gene watched his brother with a careful eye. "You said last night that some things had changed. I feel like I need to know that story."

"Hmm," Nick thought about it and looked at Heath. "Look Gene, I really don't disagree with you. But I'm not sure that it is really my place to tell you all of it. We can tell you most of it, but there are a couple things that have gone on that are really Mother's stories to tell. They are things that it is just not our place to tell you."

"Right," Heath agreed. "But we can tell him some of the things."

"Well," Gene sighed. "Tell me what you can then."

"Let's see," Nick scratched his head. "Well, shortly after you left Mother and Audra were held up at a train station for a safe robbery that went sideways."

"I don't think that one really bothered her Nick," Heath chuckled. "In fact, when all that was over we were laughing most of the way home from Bixby Flats."

"That's true," Nick nodded and smiled at the memory. "Well there is the time that you and Jarrod and Mother were involved in that stage coach robbery and left to die in the middle of the dessert."

Heath nodded. "True, that did wear on Mother. We must have walked twenty-five or thirty miles over those two days."

"What happened," Gene perked up in anticipation.

"A rider came in as we were boarding the stage and said there had been a landslide. It was a trick to get the stage on an abandoned road far from town. When the driver and his gunner put up a fight they took the horses, shot the kid, and left the rest of us to die. We were forty miles from where we started and every bit as far from where we were going. Anyway, one of the guys on the stage with us had led a wagon train through that dessert years before and we were able to find a spring, but it wasn't easy."

"What else," Gene knew that there had to be more.

"Mother and Audra were held prisoner by an outlaw woman and her sons when one of them was shot. They took him to the church the very first Saturday that Audra was to start teaching Bible school. Mother pulled the bullet out of the boy hoping they would leave before the kids got there, but they refused. Then Jarrod found out that there was trouble and went inside. They knocked him cold after he killed one of the other boys and the woman threatened to kill Audra so Mother had to shoot her," Nick hurried through another story.

"There was the business with Buddy Tyrone," Heath offered.

"What about Buddy," Gene perked up. He had always been close to Buddy. But that was another person that he had left behind with the valley.

"I think that is one of the stories that Mother ought to tell for herself," Nick shook his head. "All I will say is that Buddy is dead Gene. I know you two were great friends back in the day."

"My God," Gene shook his head. "That's terrible."

"It was a tragedy," Nick shook his head. "It was a very bad time for Mother. She felt horrible about everything that went on with that." Nick pondered a while. "There was the time that Jarrod brought federal agents in here to stage that lynching."

"What," Gene jumped to his feet. "Lynch who?"

"My old commander," Nick growled at the memory. "Jarrod brought federal agents in here thinking that Heath and I would be on a drive. They pretended to kidnap Mother, Audra, Silas, and Ciego. The man killed off a town during the war and helped Booth assassinate Lincoln while masquerading as a union general," Nick shook his head.

"Nick and I made it home two days early so to keep up the show, they put on a mock trial and said that they were going to hang Nick for being at the town that the general ordered attacked without Nick knowing about it. That did put Mother through her paces I suppose."

"I really think that is probably enough for now," Nick saw that Gene's face was red with anger. "Gene, a lot has happened. Mother has been through a lot on her own, but we have all had our things."

"Sure," Heath agreed. "Jarrod has been put through a lot too, but that is definitely not our story to tell. Look Gene," Heath motioned for him to sit on the sofa across from him. "It has been a hard two years for all of us, which means it has been hard for Mother, because she has been there for all of us through everything we went through too. And honestly, that is a big part of why Nick and I both have reservations about you being back."

"You are afraid that I will leave again the minute that things get a little rough?"

"No," Nick shook his head. "We are afraid that you will decide for any reason at all that you still don't really want this life and that will just make things harder on Mother."

Gene sipped his whiskey and thought about what his brothers had told him. "The look that Mother had the night I left DOES haunt me. But the look she had last night when I told her that you talked me into staying," he shook his head. "It almost felt like flying. Seeing her happy gave me this sort of euphoria."

"What's your point," Nick hated poetic speeches.

"Well," Gene sighed. "I can't remember why I thought that leaving would get me what I wanted. I can't remember why I thought that Kaitlin was worth giving up that kind of love that I already had."

"First love is a powerful thing," they all looked up and saw Victoria in the doorway. "Most people, men and women, will do crazy things for that feeling."

"Things that they find out were never worth it," Gene got to his feet and hugged his mother. "How was your meeting?"

"It was just fine," Victoria sighed. "Rather boring, but that's how it is most of the time. The shudders look beautiful boys. How did you get them done so quickly?"

"Team work," Gene smiled at her. "The three of us make a pretty good team I think."

"Well, Gene is certainly a good sport," Nick laughed.

"What is that supposed to mean," Victoria frowned. "Nicholas Jonathan Barkley, did you take advantage of your brother?"

"No," Gene answered before Nick had a chance. "Nick and Heath are just putting me through my paces," he smiled. "That's what older brothers are supposed to do."

Victoria frowned. "Well then, what are the three of you talking about now?"

"Nick and Heath were just catching me up on some things that I missed out on. Seems that a lot has happened while I was away," he looked at her with sad and heavy eyes.

"Has it," Victoria eyed Nick and Heath suspiciously.

"They were telling me about the time that you were held up at the train station in Bixby Flats and the stage hold up with Heath and Jarrod."

"Uh huh," she put her hands on her hips. I suppose that they also told you about Warren Masters and George and Buddy Tyrone," her face was red with anger at Nick and Heath. "Or Maybe about Jim Bannard or James Beldon."

"They told me that Buddy died," Gene shook his head. "They didn't tell me anything about Warren or Jim. I have never even heard of James Beldon. They were just explaining that there have been some hard times," he shook his head and gently laid his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry that I contributed to that Mother. I am sorry that I wasn't here."

"And just what could you have done," she shook her head as a few tears escaped the corners of her eyes. "What could you possibly have done?"

"I don't know," Gene pulled her close. "But I should have been here to share in the burden no matter what."

Victoria wrapped her arms around Gene's ribs and held him so tightly that he had to work to breathe. "I don't want any of my children burdened. I wish that they didn't have to go through the things they go through in their own lives, or the things that they have to go through to help me. I wish I could prevent all that hurt and worry."

Gene pushed her away to look into her eyes. "I know that," he answered forcefully. "But I don't ever want you to go through anything alone. That is why family is so important, we go through life together, we can lean on one another."


	19. Chapter 19

"Gene," Victoria called up the stairs. "Gene, are you coming to breakfast?"

"I'll be right there," he called down from his bedroom.

"Well," Nick said when Victoria returned to the dining room table. "Will the boy be gracing us with his presence this morning?"

"Now Nick," Victoria scolded. "You know that you and Heath have been running that boy ragged and keeping him up late for good measure. He is on his way," she frowned.

"We're running him ragged," Heath asked with a smile. "I suppose you think that the last few weeks has just been a picnic for Nick and I too?"

"Well," Audra laughed. "They do get going just a little bit later every morning."

"Good riddance," Victoria refused to smile. "That's what you get for trying to terrorize your younger brother."

"Why are you working so hard at it," Jarrod asked as Nick and Heath focused on their empty plates. "Are you just trying to see if you still can?"

"Maybe," Nick piped up. "He has a lot of lost time to make up for around here."

"And the two of you plan to run yourselves into the ground to prove it right," Victoria allowed herself a barely visible smirk at Nick and Heath's expense.

"Not a chance," Gene plopped down at his place and filled his plate as the dishes began to pass. "They plan to stay just this side of the ground before they give up." His response got a laugh out of everyone at the table.

Gene had been home for a month now and he still loved every minute of his time here. He had long talks with his Mother. She told him about all the other things that he had missed. She didn't hold anything back and he was horrified at some of the things that had happened to her, things that he might have been able to prevent if he had been home. Audra had come around to his being back fairly quickly and he could feel that they were getting closer to one another day by day. It was starting to feel the way it had before he left, they would be thick as thieves again before too long. Jarrod had never needed any convincing to forgive Gene on his own part, but Gene could tell that the longer he stayed the more at ease Jarrod felt about things. Heath had come around after a couple weeks and a couple talks that went all night about what had gone on with Gene and Kaitlin in San Francisco. Gene had told Heath about his discussion with Jeb in more detail and how he went about deciding that the life at home was what he had always wanted and that he still wanted it now and was surer than ever about the importance of being home.

As usual, Nick was the hardest to convince that he was home for good and the most stubborn about talking it out with Gene. Nick eventually told him that he couldn't shake the feeling that Gene still deserved a good kick in the pants for his behavior, penitent or not. Gene told him that he understood the feeling and was shocked that it took nearly three weeks for Nick to even bring it up on his own. Gene said he was willing to have the go 'round as long as Nick was willing to shake hands at the end and agree that everything was in the past. The willingness of his younger brother to have a fight that he knew he would lose was enough to convince Nick that he was sincere in his apologies and his plans to stay on at home. Nick did throw him in the water trough, but the fight never happened.

"Gene," Victoria interrupted his thoughts as he sat by the fireplace in the parlor that evening. "It's late, is everything ok?"

"I must have lost track of time," Gene smiled at her. "I was just thinking."

Victoria moved and sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of him. "Do you want to talk about it Gene?"

"What," he gave her a puzzled look.

"I know that you miss Kaitlin."

"I never said that," Gene shook his head.

"You didn't have to," she smiled at him knowingly. "I am your mother, I can tell."

Gene returned the smile but it was a sad one. "I was thinking about how you said that we both had to fight for it if we loved one another. When I was deciding to come home, I realized that we were both fighting; I was just fighting harder for it. I was also thinking about something she said when I found her in St. Louis."

"What," Victoria gently urged him to continue.

"We were fighting a losing battle," Gene shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "She said that I wasn't fighting for her anymore just to change who I was. She said that she lost me the day we left."

"Do you think that she was right?"

"I didn't then," Gene shook his head. "But she was. Being back here with all of you," he sighed. "I am happier than I ever was in San Francisco. I just don't understand it though…I don't understand because..."

"Because you loved her," Victoria finished the thought for her perplexed son. "Gene, sometimes, love really just isn't enough. Besides," she decided she should tread carefully through the next part. "It sounds like Kaitlin did change."

Gene noticed her apprehension so he sat up and grabbed her hand. "She did," he confirmed. "She changed, because she grew resentful, not just of us but of her own family too. She was upset that she couldn't get her own way so she just set out to erase the disappointment and the lesson both."

Victoria nodded. "Yes, but I know that it still hurts. I wish I could make that better."

Gene stood to his feet and pulled Victoria to hers before wrapping her in a loose embrace. "I know," he whispered. "But it's ok. I will learn to live with it and I will move on. I'm just glad that learning that lesson didn't cost me you too." Gene gently kissed her hair and moved a step back. "I better turn in so I get up in time to go out with Nick and Heath. Good night Mother."

"Good night Gene," Victoria watched him walk up the steps. She watched him until he disappeared around the corner toward his room. When she turned back to turn down the lamp on the side table she found herself staring at Tom's portrait above the fireplace. "I sure am glad that love was enough for you and I to make it through darling." She smiled, turned down the light, and headed for the stairs.

THE END!

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A/N: Thank you all for reading and for your kind reviews. I do so hope that you've enjoyed this little experiment of mine. ~ Kitty


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